..Randoms..

Sunday..a day with many colours, atleast in my life. 2yrs back, same Sundays would be boring because:
Saturday used to be a chutti too, making Sunday boring, weirdly for me. But then that was some time yaar. My friends would say, “Pankaj, you’ve the world’s best job. Media, Five day working and Two days ash”. Today, its six days working and some or the other ‘official’ work on Sundays too, sometimes. I was so afraid of becoming a workaholic and aaj I am one..n believe me its not my choice, but the times are such. I am writing this in February 2009, when the so called Global recession was/is at its peak and at its peaker in the organisation I work/worked with. Its gloom all around. Everybody I talk to is either directly affected* by it OR knows someone who has been affected by it OR is afraid that it might affect him/her. And the sad part is that it is also the case with people they know or speak to!
*laid-off/lay-off


2009, they say is going to be a bad year for the world. Each passing day in O-nine is a blessing. The other day I was reading the newspaper and I remember clearly, there were 16 different news items on the same page. 9 of them were about employees being laid off, 3 were about companies posting huge losses, 2 were about companies planning to lay-off their employees. I didn’t bother to read the other 2.
रामजी करो बेडा पार ..is what I've been singing these days..!

Last one week I had were full of depression, literally. I’d never been this negative and some people tell it doesn’t suit me too. That is so true. I hate myself like that. I had become cranky, moody and everything but a smiley. So now here I am, writing this, without giving a damn about the recession shitpot thingie! *touchwood* ;)

Dev-D, that’s one movie that forced me to come out any gloomy mood. I loved the movie, although I watched it on insistence. Especially if you get into the movie-hall after 2 pegs, DEV-D WILL BE A DIFFERENT MOVIE ALTOGETHER – TRUST ME. Its soundtrack, the lyrics, all have so much meaning. You should hear the uncensored version of Emosional Atyaachar. One cant help but love it after an initial shock!

The other day I got up and suddenly it struck me that I had to go to/have work :
@ i got a call from my brother’s school principle..oops..principal, asking me to come and meet her.
@ my insurance agent is/was after me like a stalker.
@ the credit card guys were another group of stalkers.
@ the pension office
@ the RTO for my driving licence
@ the bank
@ my office was always there over my head.

Nothing new, everybody goes thru days like these but I tend to put a lot of pressure on myself to do all the work @ the same time, which in the end, remain unfinished, most of them.

The principal wanted to meet me cos, my brother is the Discipline Incharge of the school and apparently he got ‘less’ marks in the mid-terms. She said “Look Mr.Pankaj, there are two kinds of materials, Good & Bad. Bad material deserves a waste-basket and so it is always thrown there. Good material deserves applause and encouragement. Sarthak (my brother) is the third kind , definitely not the bad kinds, but a good kind going towards the waste-basket! His guitar playing skills are good and we all encourage him but it’d be better if its kept as a hobby, atleast for the time being.”
I was confused whether to be proud of him or otherwise. The way I see the world today, I always want him to get into something hatke. Although I’ve taken the Princi’s advice seriously.

They say first six months of a ‘being in love’ / relationship are always wonderful and beautiful and that every occasion: Her birthday, His birthday & Valentine’s day should all come in the first six months, cos then in the next year it all becomes ‘by the way’ kinds. Lets see!

I’ve been experiencing so many changes in my life these days. Achanak se, two close friends are hooked up in marriage, one has moved abroad, my job is nerve-wrecking. Not getting to drink even occasionally. She doesn’t live with me. They don’t sell pirated DVDs anymore. Dhobi spoiling my trousers. Badminton has ceased to exist. Social networking sites seem boring now. The world has become an expensive place. Insomnia has got Insomnier. Crap all around.
See..am getting towards the negatives again. STOP! But except the dhobi thing, everything else will be back again / better again. AM SURE ABOUT IT.

One thing that has always kept me going temporarily are text messages. From my current phone, I’ve sent more than 30,000 @ an average of 50 texts a day. It gives my instant happiness sending texts, whether it’s a forward or a Hi.

…after two days’ break..

I saw myself in the mirror today and smiled…cold again…smiled again…noticed my hair…they are this long after a gap of 3yrs. Noticed my physique - couldn’t figure out whether its skinny or lean. I’d say lean though. My eyes - too cunning, she says. My nose – quite big, some say. My height – hmmm tall, all say. My toes – disfigured, I say.

During my graduation days, my friends used to tease me for a gay..Reason being I had quite a few gay friends. My current friends tease me for a bi-sexual. Reason being, during one drunken escapades, I allegedly ‘confessed’ of being one. The funny part is I dint/don’t have a problem being teased as any. Reason being, I know when my hormones get active and definitely not when I see a hot guy…I mean a guy. I am absolutely straight and not drunk right now.

Whoever meets my mum these days, be it old family friends OR extended familywallas OR parents of ‘my friends getting married’ .. . All they want to know is “When is Pankaj getting married?” Its like they are more tensed about my marriage than my mum is. And then my mum asks me the same Q. After trying out a lot of answers to that Q..after a lot of trial & error, I’ve come up with a master reply- “Why don’t you tell them ke Pankaj already has a boyfriend & a girlfriend and that he is taking his time in deciding..whether to go ahead with him or her...!”
Used it only once and I was never asked that Q again.

Joey – “JOEY DOESN’T SHARE FOOD!”
Ross - :O
Chandler – “Sharing under wears is okay…is it then…?”
Rachel – “naaaah..Joey doesn’t share underwear..Do you..Joeyyy..?”
Monica – “O my God..Joey, are you wearing two under wears right now…and is one of them pink..?”
Phoebe – “Joey..whose underwear did I give you this morning when you came asking for one..in a towel..!!!”

Friends – I cant live without them. The above one as well as the real ones I have.

Mistakes – I’ve made many of them. Learnt from a few but not from all. Personally & Professionally.
Apologies – I am so liberal in offering them.
Anger – huh..?
Crush – never had many.
Love – hmm..Lovely!

Dancing is something I love. Its not a visual delight though! I’ve been at receiving end of a lot of comments. One of the many I remember quite clearly is “Pankaj..u can be the world’s # 1..Baarat mein naachney wala dancer. You can dance only in a baraat.”
I agree though. Thank God am born in India!!!


Sing as if no one is listening
Dance as if no one is watching
Love as if you’ve never loved before
Live as if heaven is here on earth