Never thought I'd write a 'spiritual' blog!

And I cried. Literally. With tears down rolling down and all that. All this happened within a span of 60 seconds, start to finish! I thought I was the only one (read stupid) but then I saw quite a few others, more teary-eyed than I was. A girl (with Versace glares resting on her forehead), looking in her late 20s weeping animatedly. An old lady, must be 80+ being held by who looked like her sons, wept endlessly. A severely handicapped man was crying but ‘trying’ to smile at the same time, which left me confused. I realised they’re not stupid & well nor am I (er..at least not in this case).

It was all fun & games while in the queue for 1 hour, moving forward at a slow pace. But as soon as I entered the main Sai Baba temple hall in Shirdi, before I realised anything, my eyes were moist. I hardly ‘prayed’; guess subconsciously I was too overwhelmed at just being there. I don’t go to temples often. I am not an atheist and I am not against going to temples but I just don’t! No reason behind it. But let me tell you, I have *NEVER* felt like this in a temple before. IT WAS JUST SOMETHING. After my ’60 seconds’, all I did was notice people. Right from devotees to guards manning/man-handling people & priests collecting garlands, etc. from people and just throwing it on the other side. To people from all over the country, wearing all kind of make-up or minus the make-up, I saw them all. Guards would literally push you away as soon as you reached the idol. But there was certain ‘biasness’ towards people who were crying. No one would ask them to move away as long as they wept! Even I hardly noticed the water coming out of my eyes, let alone the policemen, so obviously, I was pushed away. As I kept looking at Sai Baba’s idol from a distance, I said to myself I had to keep coming here. I just had to. And hopefully I will.

Frankly this trip to Shirdi happened because of my mother, she wanted to go there since quite some time but for some reason or the other we would not go. I wanted to take mum there more than I wanted to go. I was more worried that I’ll be missing out on the India versus South Africa Cricket World Cup match! Guess my next trip will have a totally different agenda.

blog 12.11.10

So much has happened since my last blog that I can keep writing on! One habit that I’ve have picked up from nowhere is putting an exclamatory (!) mark after each sentence or even a phrase or a word, weather its on facebook or twitter! Deal with it! Ok..now I am dragging it just for the heck of it.

Do you ever or let’s say have you ever ‘imagined’ how will you die? Well I have and I must confess...have cried over it and that too more than one time. Sometimes it actually feels good imagining it but only if I have died a ‘good’ death like saving a million other lives..or at least one other life. What makes me feel good are its after-effects. The kind of death I hate/would hate is dying in some idiotic accident...and ending up as a small news-item in the left-hand corner of a newspaper the next day. Oh that would suck big time! Death has to grand.

But no seriously...think about it. I mean am sure you must’ve given it a thought at least once and if not, do it! Do these things - Try to help others, try feeding the hungry whenever you can, buy a lesser costly dress and if you can, sponsor a child’s education..may be your maid’s child. The point is do a random act of kindness. It’s a good thing. Although I’ve not done all of the things above for more reasons than one but I shall..whenever I can. People WILL then remember YOU always. But I am being pragmatic here. I normally do not ‘preach’ things I don’t do/can’t do myself. Enough of philosophy.

Anyways, I’ve been thinking what I want ideally. I want a lifetime connection of Worldspace (yes..i still miss it) or lets say unlimited supply of good music, language or genre does not matter at all. It just has to be nice..plain..neat music! By the way, Coke Studio is God. All I keep listening to off late is music from Coke Studio only. Pity, we dont not have *anything* like it. Also, while we are at it..somebody please please bring the 1970’s rock music back or take me there. You know this may sound weird but I visualise this a lot – live the life as depicted in Dire Straits’ song ‘Heavy Fuel’. That song just gets onto me every time I listen to it..which I do almost 3 times everyday! And while we are at *this* one of my another wishes is to live a ‘HIMYM’ life. For the uninitiated, it stands for ‘How I met your mother’. It is a..oh crap..google it! Awesome I find *that* life. Ya well..whatever!

Life as I live it, like most of you is a tough cookie to break or eat or dip. And that’s why ‘we wish’. I wish it was not so, I wish I had taken that job, I wish I had not insulted him, I wish I had helped that old man cross the road a while back, I wish my toes were not disfigured, I wish I had started working out years back, I wish I had asked her/him out for a date, I wish he /she was not my friend, etc. etc. I can relate to only the ‘toes’ one, all others are not related to me..or do they!?! *my toes are really disfigured* primarily because I’ve had minor surgeries done on both my toes. But that’s a different story altogether.

Dedicating Cat Stevens' 'Here comes my baby' to all who worry a lot (count me in). Though it has NO inspiring lyrics..its just a happy-go-lucky number.

Also, I shall try to blog regularly now. I do have a few unpublished blogs..which shall remain so atleast for some time to come.

Music. Peace.

..and then I blog again!

After a long hiatus from ‘this’ blog (well..actually the reason was you see I am getting paid for writing another blog, a rather serious one – read:boring;) I thought lets get back to this one. Last few months have been exciting. Purely from professional point of view and personally as well actually! Just in September, when I thought to resign from my job then..it took me four months to FINALLY put in my papers and man..was it fun(ny)! I decided to quit and in what I would not call ‘a weird co-incident’ my boss asked me the same day whether I was planning to leave? And he asked it to me out of nowhere. Never before he had asked me this but that day was special. And I thought, either this makes my job very easy OR very tough. FTW..i thought, lets choose ‘easy’. He sat with me for 3 hours ‘counseling’ me that I was making a wrong career movie. He’d kill me for this now but, in my head at that point of time, I was thinking of the 10 days ‘leisure’ leave that was going to start from the very next day! We ended our meeting. He thought he had won the battle. I let him think so. Two days later, called him to up to say “I have decided..I am leaving”. Spent my next 8 days having a good time and then the next one month after that..er..hmm..lets say working. I have realized the ‘notice period’ teaches you a lot. Shows the true colour of a boss. Boss, I am not saying anything..good or bad. So please don’t assume anything. Am listening to Danzig right now..so all kind of devil thoughts are coming to my head. Control. Control.

New place..New colleagues (some old..quite literally) so far so good.

Personally, many friends have gone places in search of good money..good life. The ones wo are here have their own set of things. One buys cars like Gillette Mach 3. Every 2 months. One is getting fatter by the day..not months. Hope he does something. Another one’s engagement got annulled in the courtship period. Good for him though. One left his plush job to start something on his own and boy he did! Another one got a cool jump financially. One left banking and joined advertising, taking a severe pay-cut! How ironic. One is always unhappy in the foreign lands, which I’ll never be able to understand why. Another one is content in a faraway part of the country which frankly speaking seems as faraway as North pole. One got married but is living away from his wife, for career reasons. One left a plush job here to go to a first world country which was severely affected by The Recession. Now he works in a grocery store. Things people do to make a career and earn monies. Another one is moving from one country to another, literally, I don’t know in search of what. I’ll assume – good career. Building a career has taken so much importance. Life ke pressure, I tell you.
Another important transition has been from people going from bachelorhood to getting married to having kids!

And where do I stand in all this? Well, I have had my share of hardships in every way possible..or may be not. I’ve learnt to enjoy each small happiness. To never miss anything big or small. I completely believe that life is a game of averages. Good-Bad will always be finally equal. If something bad has happened, good is just round the corner (love this strange phrase: ‘round the corner’) Karma my friend, believe in it. Keep smiling and never look down upon anybody.

As for me, in more materialistic terms, Finally I’ve a well-paying-satisfying job (hungry for more though;) Lovely partner. Brother a rock-star, literally. Mom’s awesome food. Good friends, all of the above plus many more. May God continue in helping me power to get: More books to read. More DVDs to watch. More tweeting to do. More beer to drink. More music to listen to. So much to do..so little..blah blah…

Twitter vs Blogging

ok..FYI, I am not absessed with Twitter.

Twitter is quick: And that’s why its called micro-blogging. Contrast this with writing a long post. I'm not saying posting is better than tweeting. But tweeting is quicker than posting. There's just a "send" button and no "publish" button. You get what I mean.Twitter is always on: Thanks mainly to my mobile phone, which is always on and with me wherever I go. I've not tried writing a blog post on my cell phone and I won't. Its too tedious.

Twitter is an ego trip: See the words "follow", "follower" and "following". And then the words "post", "comment". 50 comments on your blog-post or 50 new followers in a few days? Go figure. Its less about WHO is following you but more about HOW MANY.

Twitter is everywhere: Turn your TV on, go to CNN or BBC or even NDTV off-late. Every news-personality from Anderson Cooper to Larry King to Sanjay Gupta to Richard Quest to Nik Gowing to Vir Sanghvi to Barkha Dutt to Sardesai..all are there. And these people don’t just tweet about What they had for breakfast but also their opinion on various issues, feedback or just informative chatting with the junta following them. Its just going to get big. Blogging in that sense is not that interactive, its not real-time, Twitter is.

Twitter is voyeuristic: I just have to know what you're doing OR just have to tell you what I am doing. Digging your nose, sitting on a bus, having a miserable day, angry, happy, joy, sad. What is about our mundane lives that makes others more excited than us? Who knows. But go write a blog post that talks about what you did from morning to night. And then write 10 tweets over 10 hours. Do it & then tell me.

Twitter is a conversation: A blog post is a monologue, I am talking to myself and then followed by some more monologues in the form of comments.Twitter is a pure conversation. It happens by the minute and there is no waiting for a response. I've had long tweet debates over F1, music, films, terrorism, Conan Brian, nail-clippers, etcetera. It's the closest one can get to a real life conversation.

Twitter is about useless and sometimes useful things to share: From digging your nose on a toilet seat TO asking questions to Vikram Chandra, real-time while he hosts The Big Fight, Twitter does it all. From a one line movie review to sharing an informative link to just give an opinion to complete strangers or Shashi Tharoor, etc..alls possible on Twitter. Not on a blog post.

I don't know whether I like sharing or I just get a kick out of people staring at my life. Its addictive & fun.It's not that I'm obsessed with Twitter or that I'm bored with blogging. It's just that off-late whatever I've been thinking/doing has been expressed better in a few seconds and in a few words. Here you have to shrink everything in just few words. All your emotions, your feelings, that boring life of yours, everything. Am not saying Twitter is better than a blog-post cos’ there is a joy in writing a blog that no 140 character Tweet can replace. If Twitter shrinks your words, it shrinks your span of attention too. I will always love to blog. Personally, I don’t have most of my facebook friends on Twitter but its just the addictive fun..satisfaction I get by tweeting.

I write this on a very early Sunday morning..some might call it a very late Saturday night too. It dark outside though.

I like home. In fact I love home. And its not that I don’t like travelling. Many a times, on certain days depending on how my day is going/how my day was, I tend to travel places accordingly. Since I drive to office on my bike, I wander to many places from home to office. Sometimes its via the magnificent Machu Picchu..of course Che Guevara gives me company. Sometimes its via the sunny Spain or just yesterday..I came via the streets of Istanbul. Quite a few times I’ve also taken the Antarctica to Venice. Its simply amazing.

I take bumper to bumper traffic everyday and believe me, swimming at Baga or Bondi everyday is way better than paying attention to the honking around you. And the best time is when I wait at traffic signals. Just the other day, Linkin Park gave me a live performance in a Tibet Ashram with the Dalai Lama putting in some requests too!

I am not some kind of a ‘stay at home’ kinds. But its just ‘where to go’ issue that bother me, almost every year. The problem lies in the selection of a place to visit. I thought of Switzerland, but Mr.Advani’s comments on the Swiss bank accounts controversy has made that place a bit unfriendly! Then I thought of London but hey, who wants to go to a place which is more Indian than India itself..which has chicken tikka as its national dish and whose chefs cook more Indian food then consumed in India!

France (for wine) & Scotland (for scotch) were next line but then again..nearer home, Nasik & local bootlegger, respectively are an answer. And at a much much cheaper price. I almost finalized Greenland until I came to know that the natives there eat whale meat for breakfast, lunch, dinner and in betweens..! Malaysia, Thailand & Indonesia were on radar too but even Mr.Galgotia has been there and besides there is no point going to a place everyone knows about and about which you cant even talk about. Also, Thailand, I hear is going thru some real bad times..politically. Mexico? Hong Kong? Swine flu. Dubai is even worse in day-time temperatures. Srilanka..well don’t know who might greet me there on the airport- regular people or LTTE..am not going there dude.

With IPL going on in South Africa, I might just bump into a friend whom I’ve been ignoring for long. Half of India is there. And with films like Da Vinci Code & Lord of the Rings..Paris & New Zealand have already been covered by me..very very thoroughly. Australia..have you seen the recent movie by the same name? One would start hating the country after watching the movie. Just like I did. USA? Tell me what would I do if United Airlines files for bankruptcy while I am in mid-air?

Pakistan? Afghanistan? Iraq? These places might be a good idea cos the pictures that I click at these places would be a collector’s item in a few years..who knows I might just become a millionaire then, just auctioning those photographs. PHEW..!!!

Finally, I decided to stay at home..call up friends..have a great time just hanging out together..eating mom-cooked delicacies and learn some cooking myself. Or maybe a visit to Bombay during one of those weekends.

..Randoms..

Sunday..a day with many colours, atleast in my life. 2yrs back, same Sundays would be boring because:
Saturday used to be a chutti too, making Sunday boring, weirdly for me. But then that was some time yaar. My friends would say, “Pankaj, you’ve the world’s best job. Media, Five day working and Two days ash”. Today, its six days working and some or the other ‘official’ work on Sundays too, sometimes. I was so afraid of becoming a workaholic and aaj I am one..n believe me its not my choice, but the times are such. I am writing this in February 2009, when the so called Global recession was/is at its peak and at its peaker in the organisation I work/worked with. Its gloom all around. Everybody I talk to is either directly affected* by it OR knows someone who has been affected by it OR is afraid that it might affect him/her. And the sad part is that it is also the case with people they know or speak to!
*laid-off/lay-off


2009, they say is going to be a bad year for the world. Each passing day in O-nine is a blessing. The other day I was reading the newspaper and I remember clearly, there were 16 different news items on the same page. 9 of them were about employees being laid off, 3 were about companies posting huge losses, 2 were about companies planning to lay-off their employees. I didn’t bother to read the other 2.
रामजी करो बेडा पार ..is what I've been singing these days..!

Last one week I had were full of depression, literally. I’d never been this negative and some people tell it doesn’t suit me too. That is so true. I hate myself like that. I had become cranky, moody and everything but a smiley. So now here I am, writing this, without giving a damn about the recession shitpot thingie! *touchwood* ;)

Dev-D, that’s one movie that forced me to come out any gloomy mood. I loved the movie, although I watched it on insistence. Especially if you get into the movie-hall after 2 pegs, DEV-D WILL BE A DIFFERENT MOVIE ALTOGETHER – TRUST ME. Its soundtrack, the lyrics, all have so much meaning. You should hear the uncensored version of Emosional Atyaachar. One cant help but love it after an initial shock!

The other day I got up and suddenly it struck me that I had to go to/have work :
@ i got a call from my brother’s school principle..oops..principal, asking me to come and meet her.
@ my insurance agent is/was after me like a stalker.
@ the credit card guys were another group of stalkers.
@ the pension office
@ the RTO for my driving licence
@ the bank
@ my office was always there over my head.

Nothing new, everybody goes thru days like these but I tend to put a lot of pressure on myself to do all the work @ the same time, which in the end, remain unfinished, most of them.

The principal wanted to meet me cos, my brother is the Discipline Incharge of the school and apparently he got ‘less’ marks in the mid-terms. She said “Look Mr.Pankaj, there are two kinds of materials, Good & Bad. Bad material deserves a waste-basket and so it is always thrown there. Good material deserves applause and encouragement. Sarthak (my brother) is the third kind , definitely not the bad kinds, but a good kind going towards the waste-basket! His guitar playing skills are good and we all encourage him but it’d be better if its kept as a hobby, atleast for the time being.”
I was confused whether to be proud of him or otherwise. The way I see the world today, I always want him to get into something hatke. Although I’ve taken the Princi’s advice seriously.

They say first six months of a ‘being in love’ / relationship are always wonderful and beautiful and that every occasion: Her birthday, His birthday & Valentine’s day should all come in the first six months, cos then in the next year it all becomes ‘by the way’ kinds. Lets see!

I’ve been experiencing so many changes in my life these days. Achanak se, two close friends are hooked up in marriage, one has moved abroad, my job is nerve-wrecking. Not getting to drink even occasionally. She doesn’t live with me. They don’t sell pirated DVDs anymore. Dhobi spoiling my trousers. Badminton has ceased to exist. Social networking sites seem boring now. The world has become an expensive place. Insomnia has got Insomnier. Crap all around.
See..am getting towards the negatives again. STOP! But except the dhobi thing, everything else will be back again / better again. AM SURE ABOUT IT.

One thing that has always kept me going temporarily are text messages. From my current phone, I’ve sent more than 30,000 @ an average of 50 texts a day. It gives my instant happiness sending texts, whether it’s a forward or a Hi.

…after two days’ break..

I saw myself in the mirror today and smiled…cold again…smiled again…noticed my hair…they are this long after a gap of 3yrs. Noticed my physique - couldn’t figure out whether its skinny or lean. I’d say lean though. My eyes - too cunning, she says. My nose – quite big, some say. My height – hmmm tall, all say. My toes – disfigured, I say.

During my graduation days, my friends used to tease me for a gay..Reason being I had quite a few gay friends. My current friends tease me for a bi-sexual. Reason being, during one drunken escapades, I allegedly ‘confessed’ of being one. The funny part is I dint/don’t have a problem being teased as any. Reason being, I know when my hormones get active and definitely not when I see a hot guy…I mean a guy. I am absolutely straight and not drunk right now.

Whoever meets my mum these days, be it old family friends OR extended familywallas OR parents of ‘my friends getting married’ .. . All they want to know is “When is Pankaj getting married?” Its like they are more tensed about my marriage than my mum is. And then my mum asks me the same Q. After trying out a lot of answers to that Q..after a lot of trial & error, I’ve come up with a master reply- “Why don’t you tell them ke Pankaj already has a boyfriend & a girlfriend and that he is taking his time in deciding..whether to go ahead with him or her...!”
Used it only once and I was never asked that Q again.

Joey – “JOEY DOESN’T SHARE FOOD!”
Ross - :O
Chandler – “Sharing under wears is okay…is it then…?”
Rachel – “naaaah..Joey doesn’t share underwear..Do you..Joeyyy..?”
Monica – “O my God..Joey, are you wearing two under wears right now…and is one of them pink..?”
Phoebe – “Joey..whose underwear did I give you this morning when you came asking for one..in a towel..!!!”

Friends – I cant live without them. The above one as well as the real ones I have.

Mistakes – I’ve made many of them. Learnt from a few but not from all. Personally & Professionally.
Apologies – I am so liberal in offering them.
Anger – huh..?
Crush – never had many.
Love – hmm..Lovely!

Dancing is something I love. Its not a visual delight though! I’ve been at receiving end of a lot of comments. One of the many I remember quite clearly is “Pankaj..u can be the world’s # 1..Baarat mein naachney wala dancer. You can dance only in a baraat.”
I agree though. Thank God am born in India!!!


Sing as if no one is listening
Dance as if no one is watching
Love as if you’ve never loved before
Live as if heaven is here on earth

BLOODY HELL..!!!

Bloody Hell..!!!

Only this is how I can react to what has been going on in Mumbai city. I get angry every time such an attack takes place anywhere. But this time, its BAD. I guess, cos’ its on for 24 hrs. 30-40 terrorists storming the city on a normal-going day. How worse can it get? Probably this is the question most people are asking. Well, the problem is.. IT GOT WORSE.
So called terrorists, most of them in their teens and the average age being just 22-23yrs attacked Café Leopold (one of my most loved joints) and killed people indiscriminately. Then Victoria Terminus, Taj Hotel, Oberoi Hotel and not to forget..firing in ‘bits n pieces’ all across South Mumbai.

All this, as the modus-operandi shows is not possible without the logistical and training support from across the border..d country we know a Pakistan. The extremists apparently had AK-56 assault rifles, hand-grenades, dry-fruits and protein bars at their disposal, clearly showing that they came with keeping the ‘hostage situation’ in mind. Then these killer-kids spread across the heart of Mumbai. Obviously the targets were planned with particularly keeping foreign nations in mind. The puzzling part is that these bastards had done a recce of the locations, earlier already. The reason for this, I suppose was to inculcate a ‘Fear Psychosis’ not only within the country but across the world and sadly, they’ve done that. They wanted to hit India where it hurts the most-Mumbai and that too, to weaken its knees especially when India, economic growth-wise is doing great and is setting its footprints across the globe.

Some say, how much would our intelligence agencies take care of, as India has such long coastlines, such big cities and so many countries with which we share our border with. Well, still, I feel it’s a clear case of intelligence failure. Such attacks may be common in Kashmir but MUMBAI..!!!! It’s a clear message that they can target anywhere and anytime. Even in 1993 Mumbai blasts the terrorists and ammunitions came in from a port/dock far away from Mumbai but this time, bloody hell, this time they park themselves easily at the Gateway of India and storm in the city! Now who is to blame for this? The Indian Bureaucratic System, may be. Why are countries like China, Thailand and the list can be endless..targeted. Even the Government of US, which was attacked of what the world calls ‘The 9/11’..had after that particular incident gathered themselves and see what happened. No attack on their soil since then. Not even a ’minor’ one. Does God rule that country? Is GW Bush some kind of a super-human? No. Look at Spain, after the infamous Madrid Train blasts earlier in this decade. That was it; nothing after that.

Why India..year after year or rather days after days. The problem is our politicians. After such attacks, these fuckers either ‘announce compensations for the poor victims’ OR ‘offer condolences for the victims’. Fucking ass-no-holes of the worst kind. Worse than terrorists. Name any Indian city which has not been spared by these extremists. NONE. We’ve people like Mr.Raj Thackeray & Co. who do their jobs while terrorists are not attacking us! Don’t be surprised if this Raj guy starts protesting against why the Government is taking the help of North Indian commandoes to save Mumbai from terrorists. By the way, where is his mice-gang..not out in the city protecting the Marathi Manoos. What makes me angry is Mr.Shivaj Patil, our Union Home Minster, always overtly calm, not doing his job and rather passing statements like “Agar Soniaji kahengi toh I’ll resign”. Mr.Patil, I am just an ordinary citizen and even I know that YOU are supposed to report to or do what the Prime Minister says and not what the Soniaji says.

Everybody talks about the ‘Spirit of Mumbai’ on camera. And I personally hate this phrase now. Its been used every time something of this sort happens and Bloody Hell, what else do people of this country do but to gather themselves from pieces and start life again the next morning. Do we’ve a choice? We pay our taxes regularly, the money with which these bastard politicians live their lavish lives. Citizens of Mumbai pay the highest amount of tax in the country..FOR THIS??? We’ve to depend on the ruling government be safe..sadly. What upsets me the most is in such cases, I personally/physically can’t do anything. Except may be write this blog!
And while I write this and while your read this, the constant fear of WHERE NEXT is always lurking in our minds. If this same attack (Mumbai 26/11) was carried out in lets say, Guwahati, then we would not’ve been looking at it the same way as we are, in case of Mumbai. And more so because it’s the Taj Mahal Hotel, The Oberoi Trident, Leopold Café (love u)..basically South Mumbai..THE SOUTH MUMBAI. What if they had attacked on a Saturday or Sunday night. I am so sure they’d have got hold of handful of ‘Celebrities we adore’ which would’ve made this much more of an attention grabber. Not that I am not hurt with innocent people dying/dead. Its all so scary.

Gone are the days of fairytales. Gone are the days of sweet ear-pleasing talks. It was always the time to face the truth. This Mumbai-26/11, this utterly sad incident has asked us to take the issue of urban terrorism very very seriously. One thing what India did and was well appreciated was that we did not negotiate with these killer-kids from Pakistan. Like the way we did in Kandahar hijack episode (IC814) and released Maulana Mashood Azhar- who went on to form the dangerous Jaish-e-Mohammad terrorist outfit; Omar Sheikh who later went to kill US journo Daniel Pearl and Mushtaq Ahmed Zargar. India needs to keep this stance in order to give a clear message to the so called destructors of peace.

We Indians are so used to such acts of terror, which in a way is not healthy at all. With hand on heart, ask yourself, when was the last time you took a terrorist attack so seriously as a citizen. Terrorists strike almost every week in Kashmir, Eastern states of India but do we bother to care? Does media bother to highlight the way it is doing now? We don’t even bother to bloody care if 10-20 innocent lives are lost. We, as Indians have this ‘chalta hai’ attitude built into our system. We tend to take terrorist attacks the same way we dump kachra on the road OR spit/piss anywhere. As an Indian citizen, even who is not living in Mumbai, it makes me feel my country is being raped, repeatedly..again..n again..n again..

GOD HELP US!

..Ms.Lobo - my Mathematics teacher..

It all started in 1996 when I was in 8th std. It was St. Mary’s School in Veraval. Since my early school days only, Mathematics used to be my ‘favourite’ subject...only that Mathematics didn’t think so, like it continues to do so, continues to loathe me, continues to insult me..!!!

Anyways, it was 8th std. and Ms.Lobo was our Maths teacher. Partly that was the reason I loved school. Ms.Lobo, I mean..NOT Maths. She was strict, ruthless, punctual..virtually all the qualities that any student would dread to have in his/her teacher. But at the same time she was beautiful...or may be that’s the adjective we would use for her then. She was actually very sultry, tanned and all.

As it used to happen, practically everyday with me…I never was able to do the Maths H/W (homework;) a reason due to which Ms.Lobo never liked me. But what I used to like was this only:

Ms.Lobo: As usual Pankaj, you’ve not done the work today as well. I am not surprised. (She would say this walking towards me)
Pankaj: Sorry ma’am but even I am not able to understand why does it happen to me only and that to..EVERYDAY! (I would actually love her presence near me, although I knew she was in an angry mood but at the same time I knew she would ‘slap’ me..on my face that is)

And so it would happen. She would raise her hand (she was an ambidextrous…virtually good with both hands...no pun intended, strictly) then pinch my ears with her thumb on one side & the pen-nib on the other…with my earlobe practically sand-witched between the two. Yes, it would hurt. Then she would use her other hand (which was free until now) to pinch my cheeks, like the way teachers do when they are angry and not when they are happy with you! And I loved this ‘pinching on my cheeks’ part, I mean. She would continue to do so for at most a minute, while giving the rest of the class a pragmatic lesson. And I only wished it lasted even longer. If you were the third person viewing this, it was a very funny sight, with Ms.Lobo’s one hand on my ear and the other on my cheeks!!! And no it didn’t stop here. As I was her ‘special’ student, she went a step ahead…by slapping me. Not even today do I regret being slapped though. And she always went away saying this…Pankaj, I hope this was the last time I slapped you but well…what she didn’t know was how much I loved being pinched and slapped by her..!!!

Freak, some would say but I pity them as not everybody is fortunate enough to have a Maths teacher like Ms.Lobo and above all…have the ability to be her ‘special’ student..!

Such ‘encounters’ between me & Ms.Lobo continue till 10th std. i.e., 3 more yrs although by 10th std. she understood that iss ladke ka kuch ni ho sakta …and she was so right - I still liked her.

Years went by. I did my graduation, did my Post-graduation…many more Maths teachers went by…my Maths continued to be the same as it was in 8th std. but as they say, some people (teachers..or rather a teacher in my case) CANNOT be replaced.

Whatever is it with FIRST CRUSHes and tTEACHERS...its such a cliché..!!!

..blog 1210..

“My mouth is beginning to water at the thought of what we had for dinner. It's like the Niagara Falls of saliva. Pani Puri. Man, it felt so good to have that flavour in my mouth again. You pop one mini-puri in your mouth, and seconds later a wave of spicy, tingly flavour bursts into your mouth with overwhelming force onto your taste buds. You surrender gleefully to the onslaught of sensual delight on your taste buds.”
These are excerpts from a blog by Varun Sinha. I’ve never known this blogger personally but a friend sent a link (thank you:) and I luv the way Varun plays with words in his blogs. I especially loved this explanation of the encounter between pani-puri a.k.a puchkaa a.k.a. gol-gappa & his mouth!
-------

Its Sunday, 2:00am and am listening to Jason Marz (I’m yours) - simply love its simplicity, no drums, electric guitars..just pure singing. Also, am in a mood to listen to some ‘good’ music right now so’ll keep on updating on what I am listening to.

Some major buzzes buzzing me:

I’ve just quit my current job with India Today, after spending 15 months.
Let me tell you something, I’ve had the time of my life working here. Although it was a pretty small team of 5, I loved everyday here. There were ego clashes, bitching, back-biting, late-comings, etc. but at the same time there were Achievements, Records, Work-satisfaction and most importantly, FUN to be with. No wonder it took 10 days for me to decide whether to leave or stay. Work wise, this co. gave me a chance to meet the best of people across industries, which would always be helpful to me AND personally I made more of friends than colleagues. We’ve laughed together, cried as well, camped together and most importantly BOOZED together! It was always quite a close-knit group and I learnt a lot from them, professionally and otherwise. I say so because I’ve resigned from other places earlier as well, but colleagues have remained colleagues. Here, I wish/hope, its not the case.
Thank you Montoo, Megha, Rimjhim, Sumesh, Mrs.Rao :)
Wishing you guys pots of luck in life and hoping to work with YOU ALL again some day.
Will miss YOU ALL.

*listening to ‘Jaane Kyon from Dostana’ – a very peppy & energetic number. I so feel the same for myself with my friends around*

Many of my close friends & cousins are getting married in the next 3 months and I know almost for sure that I won’t be able to attend their marriages, for which I’ll have to ‘pay’ for the rest of my life.
Simply cant help it guys. Can’t take too much of ‘chuttis’ at a new workplace. I hope you all understand. Although my being there should be the least of your concern, after all YOU ARE GETTING MARRIED..!

I want to hit the gym again (regularly) but don’t know how.
The bad part is I’ve paid the gym fees for the entire year in advance; the worse part is that I used to be regular in my workouts; the worst part is now I’ve started playing badminton regularly..but at the cost of my workout sessions.
Avinash Khanna, if you are reading this.. “Kamine...Asshole” & am sure, you saying the same for me as well. Deservedly, for both..!

*listening to Akon & Michael Jackson’s “Hold my Hand” – it’s a killer. I wish MJ comes back*

My brother wants a thousand things at a time.
I can’t blame him; he is only 16 and ‘wants and demands’ are his rights. So, I’ve to play a villain sometimes by not heeding to his demands, even I don’t feel like. I’ve to decide, for which ones to say yes and for which ones, otherwise. Sorry, that’s all I can say Golu..oops, Sarthak; he hates being called Golu outside home, and here I am, calling him Golu (again n again) on the World Wide Web..! Sorry….Golu. LOVE YOU.

*listening to “Phir Dekhiye from Rock On” – lovely, soft number. Makes me believe that Giving away Love is more important than anything else in life and I always try to do so*

Getting drunk and being a 'mast-mawla’
I used to be a nice guy, not eating non-vegetarian food and never used to even touch beer. But, well as it was destined, its all a past now!
(I don’t say people who drink liquor & eat non-veg food are bad, but its just a collective feedback/response from friends who either do one of them or are totally away from both)
I guess I started drinking 2yrs back and am an occasional drinker, matlab on occasions; I get drunk and see things from the other side. That would/could range from telling my fellowers that I am a bi-sexual to wasting beer incessantly to pee from mountain tops to puke without giving a crap to proposing to share with the world the sad part of my life (which is rare to happen otherwise) to even cry. But let me tell you (and no I am not drunk right now) its all fun in its own way. I am a responsible drinker and even I’ve helped friends ‘get home safe’ after ‘sessions’.
PS: I am not a bi-sexual. I am straight.
I’ve never needed help to get back home.
I luv it all.

*listening and listened to “I’ve a dream” & “Fernando” respectively, by ABBA- cos of Abba, I am hooked to their period of music. Was always unexplored by me. Love it now though*

To keep everybody happy – tough task & The need of a shoulder.
Let me tell you, it’s the toughest job/task in this world to keep all around you / people you care for/ people who care for you HAPPY. Someone somewhere is either left out cos of something or according to him/her you are not putting a worthwhile effort. Well, can’t do anything in such situations. Even a smallest of in deliberate result is kept in the firing line and obviously being fired upon. Sorry, but I’ve always tried my best.
I’ve had times when I needed a shoulder to cry on or rest on; I had none, although I’ve given to quite a few. And also, whatever a person says or however he/she may behave, EVERYONE needs a shoulder. It’s simply human. Or else, try crying, it’s a great healer, whether in public or in private.
But, whatever you do, simply do it. Emotions, whether sad or happy or romantic or anger, if kept within have far more worse effects than any dreaded disease. Trust me.

*listening to “Waiting for you by Richard Marx” – one of my favourite romantic numbers*

Some trivial buzzes in my head:

When/How do I start reading ‘The Fountainhead’..!!!!
When will I go to Ratanpur / Mt. Abu next ..Plan it out guys.
My mobile bill, insurance premiums, EMIs, school fees, etc. due in next 1 month..!!!!
*listening to Money Money Money..its a rich man’s world by Abba – how apt* Don’t laugh*
Its 4:30am and its been more than 2 hrs that I’ve had no water down my throat. And as I drink water, I also eat bread-peanut butter at this hour. Unhealthy, although I’ve been doing it for years, atleast I know it’s unhealthy ;)
Almost all of my friends smoke, which practically makes me the ‘undisputed passive smoker # 1’ and its dangerous.
Even I can be tense, why do some people tend to think otherwise about me?

Anwz..Happy Diwali to ALL of YOU out there..
Have a noiseless one.. :)

..answers pls..!

Why can’t one read this blog without sending the link?

Why can’t life be as easy as it is spelt?
Why can’t one poop without a newspaper in hand?
Why can’t one make free calls from a cell-phone?
Why can’t one be happy always?
Why can’t one get any book for less than 100 bucks?
Why can’t it be dark always?
Why can’t everybody be healthy?
Why can’t one another trust one another?
Why can’t one wait?
Why can’t one write an interesting blog?
Why can’t every life be an autobiography in itself?
Why can’t one not honk?
Why can’t Yellow be the universal colour?
Why can’t men wear violet or pink trousers?
Why can’t one live without dreaming?
Why can’t everyone simply smile?
Why can’t everyone be literate?
Why can’t one live without reading and writing blogs?
Why can’t everyone use a condom?
Why can’t one change jobs every 8 months?
Why can’t everyone plant a sapling?
Why can’t everyone write blogs or microblogs rather?
Why can’t one go on a road-trip every 3 months?
Why can’t everyone live without being in any relationship?
Why can’t one have only one pair of jeans?
Why can’t it be winter always?
Why can’t women with hair everywhere be counted as criminals?
Why can’t some not initiate a dialogue?
Why can’t every Friday give us a good-viewing?
Why can’t fingernails survive without growing?
Why can’t everyone be sex-educated?
Why can’t one drink whatever he/she wants and still not puke?
Why can’t one not live without smoking?
Why can’t some people not live without sex?
Why can’t diseases cease to exist?
Why can’t hugging be a way of greeting each other the first time?
Why can’t ‘Carnival of Rust’ be the universal anthem?
Why can’t there be only one social-networking site?
Why can’t homosexuals & bisexuals live a free life?
Why can’t everyone follow a time-table?
Why can’t everyone adopt a pet?
Why can’t one live with just 4-5 hrs of sleep a day?
Why can’t everyone be adjustable anywhere?
Why can’t medicines be free?
Why can’t Tusshar Kapoor be banned for life from acting?
Why can’t there be a pick-up line for a guy?
Why can’t friends always stay in touch?
Why can’t the companies pay weekly?
Why can’t one’s birthday be a holiday for that person?
Why can’t everyone be involved in any kind of community work?
Why can’t politicians be human beings sometime?
Why can’t some people be dating & committed at the same time?
Why can’t one be not corrupt?
Why can’t one see all the details always?
Why can’t one enjoy without fireworks during festivals & marriages?
Why can’t there be farting contests?
Why can’t one live life without cursing others?
Why can’t everyone adopt a child?
Why can’t anything happen without any strings attached?
Why can’t everything written here be without question marks?
Why can’t this be How, Where, What?
Why can’t everyone have jobs?
Why can’t one understand that a female=a male?
Why can’t there be no surprises?
Why can’t one understand that after a bad day/s there is always good coming on the way?
Why can’t they’ve a channel playing only one’s favourite/anything one wishes for?
Why can’t there be a Big-Boss without celebrities?
Why can’t there be no disparity in anything?
Why can’t taking a bath once a week be a universal norm?
Why can’t there be no broken hearts?
Why can’t people talk to each other than to God when in trouble?
Why can’t spam mails be stopped?
Why can’t one keep in touch without internet?
Why can’t Sonali Bendra be the face of every brand?
Why can’t India TV be the only news channel?
Why can’t some humans be not boring?
Why can’t office colleagues be friends?
Why can’t adults behave like children sumtimes?
Why can’t there be burping contests?
Why can’t women who wan2 live without a burqha actually live without it?
Why can’t one just use their teeth as nail-clippers?
Why can’t everyone not call them children with ‘special needs’?
Why can’t some people respect women?
Why can’t liquor in Gujjuland cost less?
Why can’t there be no ‘taboo’ on rituals/happenings?
Why can’t law be the same for all?
Why can’t everything written here be a metaphor?
Why can’t ‘changing no undies’ be such huge issues?
Why can’t people wash hands after sneezing?
Why can’t one not appreciate the other?
Why can’t things be not justified and still be okay?
Why can’t there be successful reunions?
Why can’t one survive without a mobile phone?
Why can’t some not take care of their loved ones?
Why can’t Budweiser be the only beer available on the planet?
Why can’t Goa be made the ‘place to visit before you die’?
Why can’t Godfather be remade?
Why can’t Man U keep winning till next 35 years?
Why can’t hot girls be sweet too?
Why can’t sweet girls be not sooo sweet?

Why can’t people not wait and keep visiting this blog page?
Why can’t you not think about good or bad & actually/officially comment after reading blogs?

marr I age

Why does every mother in the world makes her son feel like HE IS THE ONE or rather HE IS THE ONLY ONE. Not that I am complaining or anything, it actually feels ‘good’ feeling, to be frank. And I am sure all the moms are the same. Sweet….I must say!

I was actually in the middle of some work the other day and my mom comes in and tells me (or rather makes me realize) that I am about to complete a quarter of a century on this planet! Shocked, Surprised, Taken aback – some of the words to describe my situation at my mom’s sudden revelation (although known to me too) I ask her, “SO??”
I knew where this was going to go. She has practically never spoken about my ‘it’ (read: marriage) ever with me but today was a different day I guess!

Chapter 1: The Indian point of view
My mom had just spoken to her brothers & other family members and I knew brain washing had been done. Typical Indian stuff! I find all this so funny sometimes, am not against marrIage though, in any which ways, arranged OR otherwise, presuming there are only two ways to ‘it’. Tell me if there are more. So the discussion went ahead. I, as a nice son, gave a positive nod to the idea of marrIage , thinking the discussion was over for the time being. But my mom was there to prove me wrong. She was visibly happy with my response and at that very point grabbed the phone and started calling ‘selected’ family members asking them to find me a so-called suitable match!!!

I was visibly speechless and this is just the start of the dialogue.

Chapter 2: The Ladki dekhna – Ladka dekhna phenomenon
My mom’s ‘shaadi ke barey mein soch’ attitude, is encouraged, in a way cos’ of my friends. Most of them are married. The unmarried ones are getting conscious that they are not married (yet) so they’ve started the so called ‘ladki dekhna’ procedure. I sometimes this system is so weird. I know that the times are changing and all but still, this seems to be THE Indian way. Ladki dekho, paanch mint vaarta-laap karo and that’s it; its more of a business relationship than a marriage. Some (even I do) would argue that this may be the traditional way but it still is very much prevalent. Its hypocrisy all the way. I’ve seen cases where in parents are love-married but their children have to go thru the ladki dekho – ladka dekho procedure. Hypocrisy at its peak. Even though their children have chosen someone on their own but just cos he/she is from some other caste n crap, things don’t go down well with the parents. And hence ladki dekhna – ladka dekhna procedure, in most cases, whether one likes it or not.

Chapter 3: Choice marriage
As one of my friend points out, “it should not be called arranged marriage; it should be called CHOICE marriage.” Believe you me, just cos he is a guy, based in an orthodox (ya I know, not many would agree) India can he pass such a strong statement. And this again is his point of view. What he means is just an extension of Chapter 2. I actually went ahead and asked some of my other friends (male, female, married & committed, married & not committed, single & unmarried, committed to one, committed to many, single for life and others) on what do they think of ‘marriage’. Guys’ve more choice than girls, all agreed on this point. However affluent, broad-minded family you come from, this was a fact that could not be ignored. Choice marriage was a very raw and a demeaning phrase, the womankind said. I tend to agree with them here. And at the same time, some guys seemed to love it and in today’s context even the girls loved it.

Chapter 4: Friends’ diary
SHE is 25, sexy, earning good enough to sustain her so called lavish lifestyle in one of the cosmopolitan cities of India and is into her third relationship. She is short-tempered, has a factory of tears inside her, is very possessive (still ironically broad-minded), doesn’t like her (so called) boy friend talking to some objectionable (in her book) girls. She is someone who lives her own life, in her own way barring a few times when I think her guy influences and I am sure it is the other way round too. She doesn’t want to marry for years to come but still wants her relationship to continue! And yes, she calls herself ‘commitment-phobic’….but I know she is not.
Her views on marriage: “Waste of time!”

HE is 26, single, into his family business, afraid of society (in a sense that he doesn’t even smoke a cigarette in a radius of 3kms of his home!), more than his parents he is afraid of his parents’ friends seeing him smoking. Before he joined his dad’s business, he served an organization for 2 years in one of India’s metro cities. He has had his share of temporary relationships, one night stands (read: too many). But But But, now he is back home with his family and he is a changed man completely (except smoking). He does not look at any girl, eye to eye.
His views on marriage: “I can/will only marry a girl my family chooses. It won’t matter if my family chooses business gain as a bridge for my marriage. The ‘Indian society system’ scares me the most and that’s why I choose to be this way. I am not complaining though as I know my family will choose the best for me.”

SHE is 25, beautiful, single, earns well, lives in one of the BPO/KPO cities of India. She was in India, went abroad, got into a serious relationship and eventually was officially engaged. The next thing I hear is that the engagement is broken n so was she. So heartbroken was she that she left everything and came back to India, just bcos that country made her feel worse. I can imagine. I haven’t been to Delhi since last one year! Now she is back, has a good job but the pain is not gone. She hates to be in a relationship now. Cries at any hour of the day. Sadness has creeped inside her.
Her view on marriage: “Its just to fulfill ones physical needs. I actually see no reason why one should marry. I’ve seen couples only fighting all the times, in my own family (sadly) or otherwise. I, myself will have to be thoroughly convinced to marry anyone, now that I have gone thru the worst.”

HE is 25, was always single (till now that is) This guy never got into any relationship, not that he couldn’t, just that he chose not to. Not bcos his family would have opposed, just that he chose not to. Not that he is gay, just that he chose not to. Not that he never socializes, just that he chose not to. He is any parents’ delight. Whatever dad says, I’ll do that only. So when his parents chose a girl for him, he instantly fell in love with her! It’s already been 5 months to his courtship and in another 3 months time he’ll be married. I wish it was this easy!
His views on marriage: “Although I am not married yet, (and I can’t even tell you how excited I am) in my opinion, marriage is something everyone should go thru. Its already so beautiful, he says, even before I am married, imagine after the marriage. Maybe that is cos this is my first ever encounter with a female on ‘that’ level. But whatever it is, I am madly in love”.

HE is 28, single (was in a relationship though, long back), has a business of his own. Well qualified n stuff. As far as my sources could tell, this guy has gone thru the ‘ladki-dekhna’ process atleast 8 times. But here is where the difference lies. He was the one not chosen in all cases except one, where he disagreed for. So, its not always that the guy has choice all the time. Is he frustrated? YES. Is he angry? YES. Is he upset (with the womankind)? YES. And I guess all the YESs are only bcos of what he has gone thru.
His view on marriage: “Its only bcos of my parents that I am not killing all the girls of this world, I simply wish I could”.

SHE is 26, chirpy, beautiful. I was the common link between these two; this girl and her ex-guy. Their relationship lasted for 4 healthy years. In the end, things dint ‘work out’ and so came the end of it all. She was broken. He was broken. She used to tell me her side of pain and he used to hide his side of pain. After a year of their break-up (I so hate this word) she got engaged and eventually married to a guy of her parents’ choice. Though, I always thought that she is never going to commit herself to anyone now, looking at her state of affairs. Am glad she proved me wrong.
Her views on marriage: “Rocking and peaceful at the same time. It all depends on the RIGHT kind of person you choose. In a ways its good that one gets to use the power of choice or the power of parents’ choice in the case of an (arranged) life partner. I am thankful that my parents chose my husband as the guy for me. We are happy and our 4 month old kid is a living proof.”

..and finally..here's wishing my ex (i hate dis word..its so demeaning) pots of luck. She just got engaged last week. She deserves d best (she had me for 6 yrs;) and I hope she has d best..!

Goa..a state of mind..

Goa. Why Goa, cos’ in the last 6 months I've been there twice. We planned this particular trip in April’08, scheduled for July 4, 2008. The surprising and the best part was that we actually went and that too on the scheduled date. I call its surprising cos’ planning normally, in my friends’ books don’t always convert to action. Anywz the tally of people going was 19, but that was then.

.......

12 friends:

Vishesh
Isha
Bapu
Radha
Karina
Vir
Riddhi
GE
Maanu
Reliance
Sujamal

On the day we left Ahmedabad, we were 8. One Toyota Innova. Good weather. Great drive from Ahmedabad to Baroda. And then the pain in butt n back and everywhere else started and ended only in Surat where one more Toyota Innova & 3 more friends joined us. Which frankly meant more room to park your ass. I must tell you Surat to Mumbai (outskirts only) is one cool drive. It was drizzling and so it was awesome (read:awaysome;)
PS: I forgot to tell you. I was with 11 other Gujjus. Man..i so love them.
Anywz..I say Mumbai outskirts cos’ we had to go to Thane station to pick up our final member. Tally now: 2 Toyota Innova cars & 12 friends. 6 in each. Comfortable enough.
Getting to Thane, asking for directions, picking up our friend, getting out of Mumbai. Took 180mins.
So we inch ahead. Still outside Mumbai and asking for directions for Goa (which is still 600kms away) And above all this, one of the cars (not ours) was running out of diesel and the we were in Mumbai where most of the pumps shut off by 10pm and it was 10:45pm. In between all this we were taking wrong turns, people were hungry, the other car (whose diesel was drying up) had their AC still on. Funny no? Hell NO.
We pass by a McDonald’s. Some say “lets go”. Some say “pass”. We pass and it turns out that we made a mistake. No resto in sight. All petrol pumps we see are closed or worse even, closing down in front of us!! Finally we see one ‘Shri Sai Restaurant – Family Restaurant and Bar’. With no other option and people even more hungry, we decide to go. And ya, I forgot to mention, we were 7 guys & 5 girls. All handsome and beautiful respectively. So, we go ahead with the only resto in sight and it turns out to be a really good one. Will talk about the food later. Like I observed on one of my trips to Wagah Border. In the Pakistani side of the border, all guys sit on one side of the ‘place to sit’ & all girls on the other side. Strictly. We also parked ourselves in the same manner in the resto, I don’t know why.

And then came the time to order food.
2 chicken afghani, with red gravy and a bit spicy.
3 paneer something starters.
2 more vegetable dishes.
10 butter rotis.
1 peg of 100 Pipers
1 masala dosa
4 pathetic lassi

2 bowls of peanuts for free
Total Bill: 2500 INR

Satisfaction: negative
We ate. We played with peanuts targeting each other. All this was happening @ 1am and we had a looooong night/drive ahead. Anywz..we hit the road after dinner, got to a diesel pump. Filled the cars with fuel and started again. No sooner that we started, we took one wrong turn and by mistake took the Mumbai-Pune expressway and as our car was ahead of the two, I was blamed (God knows why, I wasn’t even driving) But the issue was that this grave blunder of ours was realized by us only after about 4kms into the expressway @ 2am. This is what we do. We call our respective friends (who live in Mumbai or Pune) to ask them when is the next U-turn / intersection on this expressway!!! And somehow we get to know that its 40kms away; cant afford any delay here. What do we do? We take our cars back on the wrong-side of the Mumbai-Pune expressway (FYI, this is one of the most accident prone highways of India, and that night I found it so true) Somehow we got to the correct road FINALLY.

Out of 7 guys (Bapu, Vir, Sujamal, Reliance, GE, Vishesh & Pankaj), 5 (Bapu, Vir, Sujamal, GE & Vishesh) could drive and out of these 5 guys 4 (Bapu, Vir, Sujamal & GE) opted to drive. Vishesh said he could not drive a diesel car!!!!

The car which was ahead always had to ‘check’ for the car behind, for obvious reasons. The most tragic/funny part was that one car had MP3 player and the other car did not! I was in the MP3 car ;) The MP3 car had like 1200 different songs to choose from. The other car had 12.

I don’t remember anyone actually sleeping the MP3 car. And we could see all but one (Bapu, who was driving) sleeping in the other car. The pity was he was listening to mobile songs to keep himself alive and we had to ‘check’ him/them every once in a while. So, the drive was good, music was even better. The weathergods were also meherbaan on us I guess. It used to rain for 5 mins and normal again for 60 mins. This went on till Goa. But wait, we haven’t reached Goa yet. We are still approx. 400kms away and ya I for got to tell you the most important part. Of the 7 guys in total, only one (Pankaj) was a non-smoker but if passive smoking kills earlier then well Pray for me..! So the point was that, that these fag-gang used to take a break (for smoking) but calling it anything but a smoke-break. This, I assume must have delayed our reaching Goa by atleast 2 hours. We drove for a while. They smoked a lot. And then at one place somewhere in the Sindhudurg (southern Maharashtra) @ about 4:30am we took a chai break. We ordered 10 chai, 1 coffee and 2 mineral water bottles. It was one of the most pathetic chai I ever had. Only GE, Bapu, Vir & Reliance cud finish it, everyone else failed to. God know what are these guys used to drinking to. Then we asked for the bill and this is how the conversation was:

Sujamal – “bhou, bill kitna hua”
Bhou – “Rs.220”
Chorus – “What the f***? Twwwoo Huuuundreeed aannd Ttwwweennnttyyy Ruuppeess?? For the worst chai on planet earth @ 4:30am in the most deserted place in Maharashtra?”

Imagine, we were trying to ‘bargain’ for the chai we had. And it worked as well. We settled for Rs.200, I don’t know what happiness we gained by saving 20 bucks that sultry night.
Anywz..ahead we marched. It was precisely 6:15am and we had touched the ghats (the beautiful hilly drive) It was drizzling and it was awesome (read:awaysome) We get a call from the other car.
Vir: “Come back guys, Bapu has puked as his body mechanism could not handle the hilly zig-zags”
Vishesh: “Will have to go back, Bapu has puked….IN THE CAR”
Somehow I knew this puke thing was going to be a hilarious experience.
We drove back and saw Bapu covered in puke all over, his tees and lowers and shoes as well. Poor chap.
I told you this was a hilly area (and believe me when I say that southern Maharashtra is THE PLACE to be in monsoon) and it had rained up in the mountains, which created many tiny waterfalls in the ghats. And our Bapu was like, “come what may, I wan2 take a bath.” We set out with the bottles we had to ‘collect water’ for Bapu to have a bath or atleast clean himself. The drinking water with us was over.

This is what each one was doing.

Vishesh: laughing & trying to target a mango from a tree nearby, in vain.
Pankaj: helping Vishesh achieve his goal, failing fruitlessly...literally..!

Sujamal: showing as if he was the only caring person on earth but doing nothing.
Vir: trying to answer this question “Why did I come?”
Reliance: “Have we reached Goa?”
GE: was he even there?
Radha: trying to find a water source nearby and very much worried.
Riddhi: helping her.
Isha: helping her.
Maanu: helping her.
Karina: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Bapu: “I wan2 take a bath or we are not inching ahead”

Finally the FBI girls found out a beautiful waterfall (about 50ft high) only about 10mtrs away from us, not easily visible from the road. Bapu, at that point of time was the happiest person in the universe. He took a royal shower, we clicked some pics and there it was, all happy. We inched ahead again, vowing to not to take a break again, till Goa. 45mins later, the fag-gang was active again. After all this and no more major delays, we reached Goa @ 13:00, about 27hrs after we had left Ahmedabad;majorly thanks to our fag-gang, breaks every hour..!
Trust me when I say, our ass had gone thru a lot.

GOA

Day 1
We reached in the after noon and straightaway headed to the liquor shop. Our shopping list for Day one was:
20 Budweisers
2 Teachers whiskey
1 Chivas Regal
16 Bacardi Breezers
With all this and ourselves, we reached the resort. Beautiful sunny afternoon. Nice rooms. All went to sleep. Only a few zombies like me, Vishesh & Reliance dint sleep. Anywz, all were up at 8pm, gathered in one of the rooms for ‘you know what’. One could not help but notice the twinkle in Bapu’s eyes when it is time to make drinks and managing everyone’s pegs and stuff. Its really something. After 2 hrs into drinking n all, each one had to mock either himself/herself or anybody else. That was one funny session. Vir mocked his wife. Isha mocked herself. Bapu mocked his boss. GE too mocked his boss. Pankaj wrote this blog. It was fun and it was 2am. Some went to a walk on the beach. Others went to sleep.

Day 2

The morning started with waking up each other and lazying around. We were asked to be ready by 11:00am by Sujamal, the finance manager of the trip, the trip arranger, the people manager. We were going to Fort Aguada & St.Francis church. But before that, Sujamal had a surprise for us. He had bought 12 identical T-shirts (with a logo of his travel firm-Dattu Travels) from Ahmedabad. It turned out to be a really nice idea, as the pics would show you.
We headed towards the St.Francis church, situated in Old Goa. Let me tell you, only 42% of us wanted to go to the church n all but those 42% made up the girls in the group. So..obviously we had to go.

The drive to the church is a good one thru Old Goa with Mandovi river flowing on one side and civilization on the other. We reached the church, with people all around watching us curiously. Again, the fag-gang was active and I had to, with no choice left, follow them for my share of passive smoking. This church is beautiful, from the inside as well as from the outside. Had a group pic session once outside and a sprint between the rest 58%, the guys. I won. Don’t know about the second & third.
Lesson for the fag-gang: Smoking leads you to lose races as well, besides killing of course.

Our next destination was Fort Aguada, a torned-out fort but a beautiful one. As we reached the fort, we decided to have a cup of tea (I’ve atleast 8 of them a day, in office) but my first in Goa. Now the tea-stall lady had an Indian breed dog; his name-Buddhu. It was, no doubt, a friendly one. Once done with the tea, we headed towards the fort, with Buddhu giving us company.

I must say, Buddhu was quite photogenic.

At the fort, we had some really crazy photo sessions; the pics here will support my statement for sure. Anywz, once done with the fort, our resort was our destination for the day, of course, another liquor shopping on the list midway.

This night was going to be a great one cos,
a) All friends were together.
b) Wimbledon’08 Final between Nadal & Federar was to be played tonight.
c) We were drinking.
d) We were in Goa..what else does one need yaar..!

All started @ 9pm. The Wimbledon final and our ‘session’. As I always have been, a Roger Federer fan, it was no different that night. But I dint know we had traitors among us. We had some people following Nadal. And so it happened, forming of groups. And when one mixes drinks + friends + any sport..you’ve no idea of where the drink is going, its only clear the next morning and this is what was precisely going to happen. Nadal won first 2 sets but we had faith in Federer and with it we gulped down some more, in my case I was already 7 Budweisers down. Federer took away the 3rd set and then it rained and the match stopped for a while. But we didn’t. We had some dinner and in the meanwhile the match resumed. In the chaos of our own Federer vs Nadal, we continued watching the final. 4th set was again taken away by Federer and this match couldn’t have been more tense. By this time, we were literally ‘off’. The 5th set was an amazing one and even the non-tennis fans among us were following it curiously! Nadal took away the final set by 9-7 and washed away Federer’s chances of clinching 5th Wimbledon title in a row. But at the end it was game well played by two tennis rock stars and the best one won. And among us it was a different story. By the time we realized tennis was over and it was time to sleep, most of us were drunk n all but it was fun and a sport-night never to be forgotten.

PS: Today, I lost my phone & with it a chance to meet a friend & eventually 2 wine bottles!

Day 3
As were the deeds of the previous night, most woke up pretty late. And the best thing was we had no plans to go anywhere but to stay at the resort and do whatever. The day, as all previous days started with lovely breakfast prepared by the ladies gang + Sujamal. All others were there just to eat and then rate the food. The best part was that I could start my day with a Budweiser….which I did, everyday with people giving me company.
We then decided to play cricket….on the beach. It was funny as I stood as an umpire the entire game, even though I was the self-made captain of one of the teams! Later went into the waters with divided opinions. Some were for the beach while some were for the pool.

We were in the waters for some time until because of high-tide, we were asked to pack bags and go to the pool. Sad.
Didn’t matter though. Pool was cool. Like kids we played some pool volleyball. We won. This is my blog, I cant let myself lose! We were in the pool splattering water, playing, doing all kinds of idiotic stuff, basically having fun.

Vir asked us, if we want some beer in the pool. Neki aur pooch pooch. Obviously we said yes and this is what Vir did. He went to the room. Came back. Gulped 2 beers in front of me and then says, “Beer is over Pankaj!”
We were done with the pool and we were hungry but with no beer or scotch in sight, we went shopping again. Bought a lot.
A day earlier, we had planned to go to a disc called Tito’s. The best in Goa. But people were too tired to go all that far n stuff. Sujamal, the man God has sent on earth to keep friends happy came up with an idea. He got a good deal with the resort guys to arrange a private party exclusively for us @ their disc.

Scheduled time:9pm.

I’ve to admit one thing. Girls are prepared for anything, any day. It’s a God gift or something. After we all were dressed up n ready to go (although the venue was only a walk, 5mins away)

Girls were all looking beautiful and guys were….guys! They were like..as if they knew about this party years ago and came prepared. Am only blaming us.

The disc was nice. Tequila was refreshing. Company was good. DJ was cool.
Overall a funight.

Day 4
Time to go home..but not before a pic-session before all the bottles finished by us during our stay.

A 23hr journey back home..n with minor glitches like punctured tyre n fag-gang breaks..we reached home but I dont know how many'll actually reach here after reading all of the above..!!!

They say, Goa is not a place, it’s a state of mind. I wont argue.

yup..dats me..!

I am sleepy but eyes closed remind of people I am not/cant be with.
I am hungry but cant eat.
I want to read a book but i chose to continue with this.
I want to listen to a song but cant decide which song ‘this’ present state of my mind can be releted to.
I am thirsty but the scotch is finished.
I want love but that is one thing everyone else already has and sharing is not the order of the day.
I want to see the stars but these city lights don’t let me.
I want to stop and stare but nothing is permanent.
I don’t want my butt to be kicked twice but then too, I think I am getting there. Pray I don’t.
I want to see my dad again but I am not time.
I want you to feel comfortable but is it going to be vice-versa?
I want to watch television but two-hundred different options don’t let me stick to one.
I want to take ‘her’ out on a date but where is ‘she’.
I want life to go smoothly but it loves speed-breakers.
I want to hit the gym again but every time its ‘Monday se’ phenomenon.
I want to apologize but then they too owe me one.
I don’t want to see the sun ever again but I am not God.
I want to leave out all the rest but then I would’ve no company.
I don’t want to ever lie again but this world leaves me with no other option.
I want to dance and I suppose that’s the only thing I can do right now.
I want them around but they are never there.
I want life to go easy but then I don’t write its script.
I want to rise above all this but the more I try the deeper I drown.
I want to kick his butt but my legs cant reach there..yet.
I thought life sucks but then I know people who suck even more.
I want to get out of trouble easily but I don’t know the magic word.
I want to erase some period of my life but they have been carved.
I want to be easy on you but then what if you become selfish.
I want to wipe out the human race but then what would politicians do?
I want to be a part of India’s growth story but then would a mere blog like this take me anywhere?
I never wanted you to walk away on me but you still did.
I want to heal the world but how?
I want my life to take it easy but our thoughts never matched.
I want to chuck non-veg food (chicken) but the chicks are so irresistible.
I want a vacation every month but that’s not possible, practically & financially.
I want to write a meaningful blog but here I am writing this.
I want to decode loneliness sometimes but I was always bad at maths.
I want you to listen to me but you always have some train, flight or bus to catch.
I ask them not be materialistic but they say what do I do with the money then?
I am in 'like' wid myself but...

..life..an elevator..

Its not everyday that I go thru something and then go on to write about it. Just the other day, I went to watch the last Indie Jones blockbuster. Its good but only considering that it was “the Indiana Jones” franchisee..but I’d still opine that ‘Raiders of the Lost Ark’ was the best ever..! Anywz, it so happened that the movie ended and we were coming down from the 5th floor located Adlabs. We took the easy & convenient ‘ELEVATOR’. The first phase was from the 5th floor to the 4th floor-this floor had all kinds of showrooms i.e., Planet M, Bata, Apple store, etc. As we had no interest in any of them, we took the second phase of the ‘Elevator’ from the 4th floor to the 3rd floor. This floor had all kind food joints, right from Punjab to Chennai, barring a few states in between but I don’t think it deterred the overtly enthusiastic public to not to enjoy what they were there for. It was humming with people on a Sunday. We (11 of us..yes!) looked at each other and without uttering a single word understood that no one was in a mood to eat anything but I guess it was the sheer sight of people having food in bundles & also the sign-board saying ‘self-service’ that deterred us to go to the 3rd floor located Food court; which brought us to our third phase of taking the ‘Elevator’ (..did I mention it as easy & convenient?) from the 3rd floor to the 2nd floor. This floor was interesting, it housed the legendry Big-Bazaar. Now ders a reason behind calling it legendry. Big-Bazaar is so so so huge and yet its located like just any other mom & pop store; I don’t think any Indian is not aware of Big-Bazaar. This is actually a tremendous phenomenon. Big-Bazaar literally is like its name-BIG..and thats precisely the reason why I don’t like it! I hate to be a part of chaos inside Big-Bazaar that people take for granted and throng it like its Armageddon outside and Big-Bazaar is the only shelter that mankind has on any given day of the year..! Anywz..der we were, on the 2nd floor and Big-Bazaar is not ‘the place’ to go on a Sunday (or any other day) so we took the ever easy & convenient ‘Elevator’ from the 2nd floor to the 1st floor. This floor also had Big-Bazaar (I told u its BIG). People were buying vegetables on a Sunday from a Big-Bazaar located in a up market mall; I don’t know whether its a phenomenon restricted only to Gujarat or common across the country. Anywz, widout saying a word to each other, we took the ‘Elevator’ again to come to our final destination-The ground floor. I know that I am exaggerating my simple multiplex trip into some kind of a ‘Sanjay Leela Bhansali’ experience, but my sort-of justification lies in the first sentence of this blog..! That day, I actually saw the world exactly the way I’ve described here. I guess I saw it thru a child’s eyes..it did make things around me easier. Try to see it this way and give attention to the minutest of details and that, I guess can only happen if our vehicle is hassle-free. I saw it from a very non-complex point of view, saw each detail minutely just standing on that ‘Elevator’ and this last ‘Elevator’ ride made me think…
“What if our life was as easy & convenient as this Elevator?”

..i m..

..i m..
1) going thru a very boring..totally useless..non-profitable day

2) ..so proud of myslf today..i completed '3 mistakes of my Life' by Chetan Bhagat..in a day flat.. (a first for me..finishing an entire book in a day) PS:its better dan his second book but '5.sum1' still reigns.

3) having a realistically severe pain in my jaw..courtesy of a 'friendly' fight

4) goin thru a confusion of what title shud i give to this blog..

5) reading blogs by Amitabh Bachchan..too good.. (wont give a link here..dat'll kill my blog)

6) drinking d last sip of water left in the bottle near me..now searching for sum1 to fill it..

7) sum1 who never gets angry easily..sacchi

8) not a teetotaler

9) my mamma's good boy :) see even my smile is so innocent :)

10) finding this blog quite difficult to write..but i know i can still go on n on n on

11) planning to buy my brother an electric guitar..he has his own compositions

12) a big fan of google..my walkman fone..budweiser..

13) mentioning my gf (ex) on no.13..dats her birthdate in one of d months

14) asking for time-out..goin for d nature's call..brb....
...........
...........
15) am back..

16) not able to decide whether to abuse some1 here or not..

17) planning to go to Bombay (dont know y but B'bay is alwz on d list..even if its jst yesterday i ws der) & Panchmarhi in d near future..

18) still waitin for sum1 to bring in water for me..m so lazy sumtimes..

19) planning to catch up wid atlst 3 movies dis weekend..all on DVDs at home..no multiplex dis weekend..

20) not at all in luv wid summer..i hate it..i like winters but..

21) gazing @ d calender n trying to count d no. of days to my birthday (Sep 9..pun intended;)

22) ..about to reach my age

23) predicting..its goin to be ManU 2 vs Chelsea 1 at d UEFA cup final @ Moscow

24) predicting..either Mumbai Indians or Punjab Kings is going to win d IPL'08

25) predicting..i'll easily reach 50 here

26) ..so happy..i jst had an hat-trick of predictions

27) ..trying to figure out..y did i not use any emoticons or colors or diff fonts till now..

28) ..wondering..will my ex ever be able to c me again..

29) ..n vice-versa..

30) some1 who changes my ringtone quite often.. (is it supposed to mean anything..in any philosophical way..? )

31) ..sum1 who can change topics very very easily..n deliberately try to make it sound as if its some kinda achievement..

33) thankful to God

34) listening to no music right now..which reminds me to turn on sum..

35) ..listening to Carnival of Lust..now..

36) ..its a perfect square

37) ..sumtimes so upset wid my mom..she makes me eat 'bottle gourd' aka 'long melon' (lauki)..chill..my vocab is not dat powerful..i had to google it..

37) ..d vegetable mentioned above is d only thing i hate to eat oder dan ofcors d literally evergreen 'karela' (bitter gourd) ..even google knows its bitter..!!!!

38) ..c..even d names of d two i dont like..match

39) a big follower of one principle in life - 'never expect'

40) ..from vegetable bashing to philosophy..changed track again. I told u m good at it.

41) ..really thankful to sum1 here who got me a glass of water..finally..!!

42) ..very close to most of my friends..

43) ..really greatfulful (tho i shud not b..dey r friends after all) dat dey all wer wid me..by me..during my dad's bad health..

44) ..missin my dad now..he was so full of life all d time..even during his last days..i so so so so much miss him..

45) ..not crying right now.

46) ..jst wondering..dat not even a single text or a call has knocked my fone's door..since i started writing dis blog..

47) ..msgs sent from my current fone till now:20000. (make dat 20000 each, atlst from my previous 2 fones)

48) ..also about to reach 50 here

49) ..God knows wat to write..o chuck it..let me reach der..cant wait..

50) NOW DIS IS AN ACHIEVEMENT..!!!

51) ..nw listening to Javeda Zindagi from Anwar..a luvly song..

52) ..tryin to figure out whether dis blog makes any sense;Wat do i write on..to make it reach 75

53) ..thinkin bout my ex again..God knows y..53 has nothing to do wid her!

54) ..still wondering..After a 7 year r'ship..n..a good 6 mnths after we parted ways..Wat went wrong..??

55) ..but happy now..or rather much happier..

56) ..ah..finally a text..its from a friend asking 'any movie tonite?' ..n guess wat i replied..'no movie tonite my friend..m on DVD dose dis weekend..'

57) ..planning to catch up Forrest Gump(again..), Dil Chahta Hai(again..) & Gladiator(again..) for sure..probably will catch up a few more..

58) ..quite satisfied wid d way life is moving right nw..altho sum things are goin awfully bad n sum not-dat-bad..but i guess, i've learnt to b happy from small things/incidents in life, n let me tel u..it does help me in livin life wid a smile.

59) ..finding it interesting dat my extended family wants me to settle down (definition:marry)..

60) ..atlst glad dey consider me dat res-pon-si-ble.. ;) ..

61) ..planning to let dem shout for the same argument for atlst next 4 yrs or may be..even more ;)

62) ..also equally glad d way India is growing..it really makes me so proud being an Indian.

63) ..nw listening to Apologize by Timbaland..o i luv it..!

64) ..missing so many people right now..suddenly. Or may b..m deliberately trying to miss all of dem..all of a sudden...ummm may b its actually d former.

65) ..req for time pls..'ve to attend a call.. (ofcors it counts)

67) ..really pissed off on des Insurance-selling-on-fone guys!

68) ..goin thru India Today magazine right now..d cover story is on Dmitry Medvedev. Go figure.

69) ..o i luv dis number.

71) ..planning to end it here. Quite abruptly.

72) ..thought of giving away a parting smile :)