I write this on a very early Sunday morning..some might call it a very late Saturday night too. It dark outside though.

I like home. In fact I love home. And its not that I don’t like travelling. Many a times, on certain days depending on how my day is going/how my day was, I tend to travel places accordingly. Since I drive to office on my bike, I wander to many places from home to office. Sometimes its via the magnificent Machu Picchu..of course Che Guevara gives me company. Sometimes its via the sunny Spain or just yesterday..I came via the streets of Istanbul. Quite a few times I’ve also taken the Antarctica to Venice. Its simply amazing.

I take bumper to bumper traffic everyday and believe me, swimming at Baga or Bondi everyday is way better than paying attention to the honking around you. And the best time is when I wait at traffic signals. Just the other day, Linkin Park gave me a live performance in a Tibet Ashram with the Dalai Lama putting in some requests too!

I am not some kind of a ‘stay at home’ kinds. But its just ‘where to go’ issue that bother me, almost every year. The problem lies in the selection of a place to visit. I thought of Switzerland, but Mr.Advani’s comments on the Swiss bank accounts controversy has made that place a bit unfriendly! Then I thought of London but hey, who wants to go to a place which is more Indian than India itself..which has chicken tikka as its national dish and whose chefs cook more Indian food then consumed in India!

France (for wine) & Scotland (for scotch) were next line but then again..nearer home, Nasik & local bootlegger, respectively are an answer. And at a much much cheaper price. I almost finalized Greenland until I came to know that the natives there eat whale meat for breakfast, lunch, dinner and in betweens..! Malaysia, Thailand & Indonesia were on radar too but even Mr.Galgotia has been there and besides there is no point going to a place everyone knows about and about which you cant even talk about. Also, Thailand, I hear is going thru some real bad times..politically. Mexico? Hong Kong? Swine flu. Dubai is even worse in day-time temperatures. Srilanka..well don’t know who might greet me there on the airport- regular people or LTTE..am not going there dude.

With IPL going on in South Africa, I might just bump into a friend whom I’ve been ignoring for long. Half of India is there. And with films like Da Vinci Code & Lord of the Rings..Paris & New Zealand have already been covered by me..very very thoroughly. Australia..have you seen the recent movie by the same name? One would start hating the country after watching the movie. Just like I did. USA? Tell me what would I do if United Airlines files for bankruptcy while I am in mid-air?

Pakistan? Afghanistan? Iraq? These places might be a good idea cos the pictures that I click at these places would be a collector’s item in a few years..who knows I might just become a millionaire then, just auctioning those photographs. PHEW..!!!

Finally, I decided to stay at home..call up friends..have a great time just hanging out together..eating mom-cooked delicacies and learn some cooking myself. Or maybe a visit to Bombay during one of those weekends.

..Randoms..

Sunday..a day with many colours, atleast in my life. 2yrs back, same Sundays would be boring because:
Saturday used to be a chutti too, making Sunday boring, weirdly for me. But then that was some time yaar. My friends would say, “Pankaj, you’ve the world’s best job. Media, Five day working and Two days ash”. Today, its six days working and some or the other ‘official’ work on Sundays too, sometimes. I was so afraid of becoming a workaholic and aaj I am one..n believe me its not my choice, but the times are such. I am writing this in February 2009, when the so called Global recession was/is at its peak and at its peaker in the organisation I work/worked with. Its gloom all around. Everybody I talk to is either directly affected* by it OR knows someone who has been affected by it OR is afraid that it might affect him/her. And the sad part is that it is also the case with people they know or speak to!
*laid-off/lay-off


2009, they say is going to be a bad year for the world. Each passing day in O-nine is a blessing. The other day I was reading the newspaper and I remember clearly, there were 16 different news items on the same page. 9 of them were about employees being laid off, 3 were about companies posting huge losses, 2 were about companies planning to lay-off their employees. I didn’t bother to read the other 2.
रामजी करो बेडा पार ..is what I've been singing these days..!

Last one week I had were full of depression, literally. I’d never been this negative and some people tell it doesn’t suit me too. That is so true. I hate myself like that. I had become cranky, moody and everything but a smiley. So now here I am, writing this, without giving a damn about the recession shitpot thingie! *touchwood* ;)

Dev-D, that’s one movie that forced me to come out any gloomy mood. I loved the movie, although I watched it on insistence. Especially if you get into the movie-hall after 2 pegs, DEV-D WILL BE A DIFFERENT MOVIE ALTOGETHER – TRUST ME. Its soundtrack, the lyrics, all have so much meaning. You should hear the uncensored version of Emosional Atyaachar. One cant help but love it after an initial shock!

The other day I got up and suddenly it struck me that I had to go to/have work :
@ i got a call from my brother’s school principle..oops..principal, asking me to come and meet her.
@ my insurance agent is/was after me like a stalker.
@ the credit card guys were another group of stalkers.
@ the pension office
@ the RTO for my driving licence
@ the bank
@ my office was always there over my head.

Nothing new, everybody goes thru days like these but I tend to put a lot of pressure on myself to do all the work @ the same time, which in the end, remain unfinished, most of them.

The principal wanted to meet me cos, my brother is the Discipline Incharge of the school and apparently he got ‘less’ marks in the mid-terms. She said “Look Mr.Pankaj, there are two kinds of materials, Good & Bad. Bad material deserves a waste-basket and so it is always thrown there. Good material deserves applause and encouragement. Sarthak (my brother) is the third kind , definitely not the bad kinds, but a good kind going towards the waste-basket! His guitar playing skills are good and we all encourage him but it’d be better if its kept as a hobby, atleast for the time being.”
I was confused whether to be proud of him or otherwise. The way I see the world today, I always want him to get into something hatke. Although I’ve taken the Princi’s advice seriously.

They say first six months of a ‘being in love’ / relationship are always wonderful and beautiful and that every occasion: Her birthday, His birthday & Valentine’s day should all come in the first six months, cos then in the next year it all becomes ‘by the way’ kinds. Lets see!

I’ve been experiencing so many changes in my life these days. Achanak se, two close friends are hooked up in marriage, one has moved abroad, my job is nerve-wrecking. Not getting to drink even occasionally. She doesn’t live with me. They don’t sell pirated DVDs anymore. Dhobi spoiling my trousers. Badminton has ceased to exist. Social networking sites seem boring now. The world has become an expensive place. Insomnia has got Insomnier. Crap all around.
See..am getting towards the negatives again. STOP! But except the dhobi thing, everything else will be back again / better again. AM SURE ABOUT IT.

One thing that has always kept me going temporarily are text messages. From my current phone, I’ve sent more than 30,000 @ an average of 50 texts a day. It gives my instant happiness sending texts, whether it’s a forward or a Hi.

…after two days’ break..

I saw myself in the mirror today and smiled…cold again…smiled again…noticed my hair…they are this long after a gap of 3yrs. Noticed my physique - couldn’t figure out whether its skinny or lean. I’d say lean though. My eyes - too cunning, she says. My nose – quite big, some say. My height – hmmm tall, all say. My toes – disfigured, I say.

During my graduation days, my friends used to tease me for a gay..Reason being I had quite a few gay friends. My current friends tease me for a bi-sexual. Reason being, during one drunken escapades, I allegedly ‘confessed’ of being one. The funny part is I dint/don’t have a problem being teased as any. Reason being, I know when my hormones get active and definitely not when I see a hot guy…I mean a guy. I am absolutely straight and not drunk right now.

Whoever meets my mum these days, be it old family friends OR extended familywallas OR parents of ‘my friends getting married’ .. . All they want to know is “When is Pankaj getting married?” Its like they are more tensed about my marriage than my mum is. And then my mum asks me the same Q. After trying out a lot of answers to that Q..after a lot of trial & error, I’ve come up with a master reply- “Why don’t you tell them ke Pankaj already has a boyfriend & a girlfriend and that he is taking his time in deciding..whether to go ahead with him or her...!”
Used it only once and I was never asked that Q again.

Joey – “JOEY DOESN’T SHARE FOOD!”
Ross - :O
Chandler – “Sharing under wears is okay…is it then…?”
Rachel – “naaaah..Joey doesn’t share underwear..Do you..Joeyyy..?”
Monica – “O my God..Joey, are you wearing two under wears right now…and is one of them pink..?”
Phoebe – “Joey..whose underwear did I give you this morning when you came asking for one..in a towel..!!!”

Friends – I cant live without them. The above one as well as the real ones I have.

Mistakes – I’ve made many of them. Learnt from a few but not from all. Personally & Professionally.
Apologies – I am so liberal in offering them.
Anger – huh..?
Crush – never had many.
Love – hmm..Lovely!

Dancing is something I love. Its not a visual delight though! I’ve been at receiving end of a lot of comments. One of the many I remember quite clearly is “Pankaj..u can be the world’s # 1..Baarat mein naachney wala dancer. You can dance only in a baraat.”
I agree though. Thank God am born in India!!!


Sing as if no one is listening
Dance as if no one is watching
Love as if you’ve never loved before
Live as if heaven is here on earth

BLOODY HELL..!!!

Bloody Hell..!!!

Only this is how I can react to what has been going on in Mumbai city. I get angry every time such an attack takes place anywhere. But this time, its BAD. I guess, cos’ its on for 24 hrs. 30-40 terrorists storming the city on a normal-going day. How worse can it get? Probably this is the question most people are asking. Well, the problem is.. IT GOT WORSE.
So called terrorists, most of them in their teens and the average age being just 22-23yrs attacked Café Leopold (one of my most loved joints) and killed people indiscriminately. Then Victoria Terminus, Taj Hotel, Oberoi Hotel and not to forget..firing in ‘bits n pieces’ all across South Mumbai.

All this, as the modus-operandi shows is not possible without the logistical and training support from across the border..d country we know a Pakistan. The extremists apparently had AK-56 assault rifles, hand-grenades, dry-fruits and protein bars at their disposal, clearly showing that they came with keeping the ‘hostage situation’ in mind. Then these killer-kids spread across the heart of Mumbai. Obviously the targets were planned with particularly keeping foreign nations in mind. The puzzling part is that these bastards had done a recce of the locations, earlier already. The reason for this, I suppose was to inculcate a ‘Fear Psychosis’ not only within the country but across the world and sadly, they’ve done that. They wanted to hit India where it hurts the most-Mumbai and that too, to weaken its knees especially when India, economic growth-wise is doing great and is setting its footprints across the globe.

Some say, how much would our intelligence agencies take care of, as India has such long coastlines, such big cities and so many countries with which we share our border with. Well, still, I feel it’s a clear case of intelligence failure. Such attacks may be common in Kashmir but MUMBAI..!!!! It’s a clear message that they can target anywhere and anytime. Even in 1993 Mumbai blasts the terrorists and ammunitions came in from a port/dock far away from Mumbai but this time, bloody hell, this time they park themselves easily at the Gateway of India and storm in the city! Now who is to blame for this? The Indian Bureaucratic System, may be. Why are countries like China, Thailand and the list can be endless..targeted. Even the Government of US, which was attacked of what the world calls ‘The 9/11’..had after that particular incident gathered themselves and see what happened. No attack on their soil since then. Not even a ’minor’ one. Does God rule that country? Is GW Bush some kind of a super-human? No. Look at Spain, after the infamous Madrid Train blasts earlier in this decade. That was it; nothing after that.

Why India..year after year or rather days after days. The problem is our politicians. After such attacks, these fuckers either ‘announce compensations for the poor victims’ OR ‘offer condolences for the victims’. Fucking ass-no-holes of the worst kind. Worse than terrorists. Name any Indian city which has not been spared by these extremists. NONE. We’ve people like Mr.Raj Thackeray & Co. who do their jobs while terrorists are not attacking us! Don’t be surprised if this Raj guy starts protesting against why the Government is taking the help of North Indian commandoes to save Mumbai from terrorists. By the way, where is his mice-gang..not out in the city protecting the Marathi Manoos. What makes me angry is Mr.Shivaj Patil, our Union Home Minster, always overtly calm, not doing his job and rather passing statements like “Agar Soniaji kahengi toh I’ll resign”. Mr.Patil, I am just an ordinary citizen and even I know that YOU are supposed to report to or do what the Prime Minister says and not what the Soniaji says.

Everybody talks about the ‘Spirit of Mumbai’ on camera. And I personally hate this phrase now. Its been used every time something of this sort happens and Bloody Hell, what else do people of this country do but to gather themselves from pieces and start life again the next morning. Do we’ve a choice? We pay our taxes regularly, the money with which these bastard politicians live their lavish lives. Citizens of Mumbai pay the highest amount of tax in the country..FOR THIS??? We’ve to depend on the ruling government be safe..sadly. What upsets me the most is in such cases, I personally/physically can’t do anything. Except may be write this blog!
And while I write this and while your read this, the constant fear of WHERE NEXT is always lurking in our minds. If this same attack (Mumbai 26/11) was carried out in lets say, Guwahati, then we would not’ve been looking at it the same way as we are, in case of Mumbai. And more so because it’s the Taj Mahal Hotel, The Oberoi Trident, Leopold Café (love u)..basically South Mumbai..THE SOUTH MUMBAI. What if they had attacked on a Saturday or Sunday night. I am so sure they’d have got hold of handful of ‘Celebrities we adore’ which would’ve made this much more of an attention grabber. Not that I am not hurt with innocent people dying/dead. Its all so scary.

Gone are the days of fairytales. Gone are the days of sweet ear-pleasing talks. It was always the time to face the truth. This Mumbai-26/11, this utterly sad incident has asked us to take the issue of urban terrorism very very seriously. One thing what India did and was well appreciated was that we did not negotiate with these killer-kids from Pakistan. Like the way we did in Kandahar hijack episode (IC814) and released Maulana Mashood Azhar- who went on to form the dangerous Jaish-e-Mohammad terrorist outfit; Omar Sheikh who later went to kill US journo Daniel Pearl and Mushtaq Ahmed Zargar. India needs to keep this stance in order to give a clear message to the so called destructors of peace.

We Indians are so used to such acts of terror, which in a way is not healthy at all. With hand on heart, ask yourself, when was the last time you took a terrorist attack so seriously as a citizen. Terrorists strike almost every week in Kashmir, Eastern states of India but do we bother to care? Does media bother to highlight the way it is doing now? We don’t even bother to bloody care if 10-20 innocent lives are lost. We, as Indians have this ‘chalta hai’ attitude built into our system. We tend to take terrorist attacks the same way we dump kachra on the road OR spit/piss anywhere. As an Indian citizen, even who is not living in Mumbai, it makes me feel my country is being raped, repeatedly..again..n again..n again..

GOD HELP US!

..Ms.Lobo - my Mathematics teacher..

It all started in 1996 when I was in 8th std. It was St. Mary’s School in Veraval. Since my early school days only, Mathematics used to be my ‘favourite’ subject...only that Mathematics didn’t think so, like it continues to do so, continues to loathe me, continues to insult me..!!!

Anyways, it was 8th std. and Ms.Lobo was our Maths teacher. Partly that was the reason I loved school. Ms.Lobo, I mean..NOT Maths. She was strict, ruthless, punctual..virtually all the qualities that any student would dread to have in his/her teacher. But at the same time she was beautiful...or may be that’s the adjective we would use for her then. She was actually very sultry, tanned and all.

As it used to happen, practically everyday with me…I never was able to do the Maths H/W (homework;) a reason due to which Ms.Lobo never liked me. But what I used to like was this only:

Ms.Lobo: As usual Pankaj, you’ve not done the work today as well. I am not surprised. (She would say this walking towards me)
Pankaj: Sorry ma’am but even I am not able to understand why does it happen to me only and that to..EVERYDAY! (I would actually love her presence near me, although I knew she was in an angry mood but at the same time I knew she would ‘slap’ me..on my face that is)

And so it would happen. She would raise her hand (she was an ambidextrous…virtually good with both hands...no pun intended, strictly) then pinch my ears with her thumb on one side & the pen-nib on the other…with my earlobe practically sand-witched between the two. Yes, it would hurt. Then she would use her other hand (which was free until now) to pinch my cheeks, like the way teachers do when they are angry and not when they are happy with you! And I loved this ‘pinching on my cheeks’ part, I mean. She would continue to do so for at most a minute, while giving the rest of the class a pragmatic lesson. And I only wished it lasted even longer. If you were the third person viewing this, it was a very funny sight, with Ms.Lobo’s one hand on my ear and the other on my cheeks!!! And no it didn’t stop here. As I was her ‘special’ student, she went a step ahead…by slapping me. Not even today do I regret being slapped though. And she always went away saying this…Pankaj, I hope this was the last time I slapped you but well…what she didn’t know was how much I loved being pinched and slapped by her..!!!

Freak, some would say but I pity them as not everybody is fortunate enough to have a Maths teacher like Ms.Lobo and above all…have the ability to be her ‘special’ student..!

Such ‘encounters’ between me & Ms.Lobo continue till 10th std. i.e., 3 more yrs although by 10th std. she understood that iss ladke ka kuch ni ho sakta …and she was so right - I still liked her.

Years went by. I did my graduation, did my Post-graduation…many more Maths teachers went by…my Maths continued to be the same as it was in 8th std. but as they say, some people (teachers..or rather a teacher in my case) CANNOT be replaced.

Whatever is it with FIRST CRUSHes and tTEACHERS...its such a cliché..!!!

..blog 1210..

“My mouth is beginning to water at the thought of what we had for dinner. It's like the Niagara Falls of saliva. Pani Puri. Man, it felt so good to have that flavour in my mouth again. You pop one mini-puri in your mouth, and seconds later a wave of spicy, tingly flavour bursts into your mouth with overwhelming force onto your taste buds. You surrender gleefully to the onslaught of sensual delight on your taste buds.”
These are excerpts from a blog by Varun Sinha. I’ve never known this blogger personally but a friend sent a link (thank you:) and I luv the way Varun plays with words in his blogs. I especially loved this explanation of the encounter between pani-puri a.k.a puchkaa a.k.a. gol-gappa & his mouth!
-------

Its Sunday, 2:00am and am listening to Jason Marz (I’m yours) - simply love its simplicity, no drums, electric guitars..just pure singing. Also, am in a mood to listen to some ‘good’ music right now so’ll keep on updating on what I am listening to.

Some major buzzes buzzing me:

I’ve just quit my current job with India Today, after spending 15 months.
Let me tell you something, I’ve had the time of my life working here. Although it was a pretty small team of 5, I loved everyday here. There were ego clashes, bitching, back-biting, late-comings, etc. but at the same time there were Achievements, Records, Work-satisfaction and most importantly, FUN to be with. No wonder it took 10 days for me to decide whether to leave or stay. Work wise, this co. gave me a chance to meet the best of people across industries, which would always be helpful to me AND personally I made more of friends than colleagues. We’ve laughed together, cried as well, camped together and most importantly BOOZED together! It was always quite a close-knit group and I learnt a lot from them, professionally and otherwise. I say so because I’ve resigned from other places earlier as well, but colleagues have remained colleagues. Here, I wish/hope, its not the case.
Thank you Montoo, Megha, Rimjhim, Sumesh, Mrs.Rao :)
Wishing you guys pots of luck in life and hoping to work with YOU ALL again some day.
Will miss YOU ALL.

*listening to ‘Jaane Kyon from Dostana’ – a very peppy & energetic number. I so feel the same for myself with my friends around*

Many of my close friends & cousins are getting married in the next 3 months and I know almost for sure that I won’t be able to attend their marriages, for which I’ll have to ‘pay’ for the rest of my life.
Simply cant help it guys. Can’t take too much of ‘chuttis’ at a new workplace. I hope you all understand. Although my being there should be the least of your concern, after all YOU ARE GETTING MARRIED..!

I want to hit the gym again (regularly) but don’t know how.
The bad part is I’ve paid the gym fees for the entire year in advance; the worse part is that I used to be regular in my workouts; the worst part is now I’ve started playing badminton regularly..but at the cost of my workout sessions.
Avinash Khanna, if you are reading this.. “Kamine...Asshole” & am sure, you saying the same for me as well. Deservedly, for both..!

*listening to Akon & Michael Jackson’s “Hold my Hand” – it’s a killer. I wish MJ comes back*

My brother wants a thousand things at a time.
I can’t blame him; he is only 16 and ‘wants and demands’ are his rights. So, I’ve to play a villain sometimes by not heeding to his demands, even I don’t feel like. I’ve to decide, for which ones to say yes and for which ones, otherwise. Sorry, that’s all I can say Golu..oops, Sarthak; he hates being called Golu outside home, and here I am, calling him Golu (again n again) on the World Wide Web..! Sorry….Golu. LOVE YOU.

*listening to “Phir Dekhiye from Rock On” – lovely, soft number. Makes me believe that Giving away Love is more important than anything else in life and I always try to do so*

Getting drunk and being a 'mast-mawla’
I used to be a nice guy, not eating non-vegetarian food and never used to even touch beer. But, well as it was destined, its all a past now!
(I don’t say people who drink liquor & eat non-veg food are bad, but its just a collective feedback/response from friends who either do one of them or are totally away from both)
I guess I started drinking 2yrs back and am an occasional drinker, matlab on occasions; I get drunk and see things from the other side. That would/could range from telling my fellowers that I am a bi-sexual to wasting beer incessantly to pee from mountain tops to puke without giving a crap to proposing to share with the world the sad part of my life (which is rare to happen otherwise) to even cry. But let me tell you (and no I am not drunk right now) its all fun in its own way. I am a responsible drinker and even I’ve helped friends ‘get home safe’ after ‘sessions’.
PS: I am not a bi-sexual. I am straight.
I’ve never needed help to get back home.
I luv it all.

*listening and listened to “I’ve a dream” & “Fernando” respectively, by ABBA- cos of Abba, I am hooked to their period of music. Was always unexplored by me. Love it now though*

To keep everybody happy – tough task & The need of a shoulder.
Let me tell you, it’s the toughest job/task in this world to keep all around you / people you care for/ people who care for you HAPPY. Someone somewhere is either left out cos of something or according to him/her you are not putting a worthwhile effort. Well, can’t do anything in such situations. Even a smallest of in deliberate result is kept in the firing line and obviously being fired upon. Sorry, but I’ve always tried my best.
I’ve had times when I needed a shoulder to cry on or rest on; I had none, although I’ve given to quite a few. And also, whatever a person says or however he/she may behave, EVERYONE needs a shoulder. It’s simply human. Or else, try crying, it’s a great healer, whether in public or in private.
But, whatever you do, simply do it. Emotions, whether sad or happy or romantic or anger, if kept within have far more worse effects than any dreaded disease. Trust me.

*listening to “Waiting for you by Richard Marx” – one of my favourite romantic numbers*

Some trivial buzzes in my head:

When/How do I start reading ‘The Fountainhead’..!!!!
When will I go to Ratanpur / Mt. Abu next ..Plan it out guys.
My mobile bill, insurance premiums, EMIs, school fees, etc. due in next 1 month..!!!!
*listening to Money Money Money..its a rich man’s world by Abba – how apt* Don’t laugh*
Its 4:30am and its been more than 2 hrs that I’ve had no water down my throat. And as I drink water, I also eat bread-peanut butter at this hour. Unhealthy, although I’ve been doing it for years, atleast I know it’s unhealthy ;)
Almost all of my friends smoke, which practically makes me the ‘undisputed passive smoker # 1’ and its dangerous.
Even I can be tense, why do some people tend to think otherwise about me?

Anwz..Happy Diwali to ALL of YOU out there..
Have a noiseless one.. :)

..answers pls..!

Why can’t one read this blog without sending the link?

Why can’t life be as easy as it is spelt?
Why can’t one poop without a newspaper in hand?
Why can’t one make free calls from a cell-phone?
Why can’t one be happy always?
Why can’t one get any book for less than 100 bucks?
Why can’t it be dark always?
Why can’t everybody be healthy?
Why can’t one another trust one another?
Why can’t one wait?
Why can’t one write an interesting blog?
Why can’t every life be an autobiography in itself?
Why can’t one not honk?
Why can’t Yellow be the universal colour?
Why can’t men wear violet or pink trousers?
Why can’t one live without dreaming?
Why can’t everyone simply smile?
Why can’t everyone be literate?
Why can’t one live without reading and writing blogs?
Why can’t everyone use a condom?
Why can’t one change jobs every 8 months?
Why can’t everyone plant a sapling?
Why can’t everyone write blogs or microblogs rather?
Why can’t one go on a road-trip every 3 months?
Why can’t everyone live without being in any relationship?
Why can’t one have only one pair of jeans?
Why can’t it be winter always?
Why can’t women with hair everywhere be counted as criminals?
Why can’t some not initiate a dialogue?
Why can’t every Friday give us a good-viewing?
Why can’t fingernails survive without growing?
Why can’t everyone be sex-educated?
Why can’t one drink whatever he/she wants and still not puke?
Why can’t one not live without smoking?
Why can’t some people not live without sex?
Why can’t diseases cease to exist?
Why can’t hugging be a way of greeting each other the first time?
Why can’t ‘Carnival of Rust’ be the universal anthem?
Why can’t there be only one social-networking site?
Why can’t homosexuals & bisexuals live a free life?
Why can’t everyone follow a time-table?
Why can’t everyone adopt a pet?
Why can’t one live with just 4-5 hrs of sleep a day?
Why can’t everyone be adjustable anywhere?
Why can’t medicines be free?
Why can’t Tusshar Kapoor be banned for life from acting?
Why can’t there be a pick-up line for a guy?
Why can’t friends always stay in touch?
Why can’t the companies pay weekly?
Why can’t one’s birthday be a holiday for that person?
Why can’t everyone be involved in any kind of community work?
Why can’t politicians be human beings sometime?
Why can’t some people be dating & committed at the same time?
Why can’t one be not corrupt?
Why can’t one see all the details always?
Why can’t one enjoy without fireworks during festivals & marriages?
Why can’t there be farting contests?
Why can’t one live life without cursing others?
Why can’t everyone adopt a child?
Why can’t anything happen without any strings attached?
Why can’t everything written here be without question marks?
Why can’t this be How, Where, What?
Why can’t everyone have jobs?
Why can’t one understand that a female=a male?
Why can’t there be no surprises?
Why can’t one understand that after a bad day/s there is always good coming on the way?
Why can’t they’ve a channel playing only one’s favourite/anything one wishes for?
Why can’t there be a Big-Boss without celebrities?
Why can’t there be no disparity in anything?
Why can’t taking a bath once a week be a universal norm?
Why can’t there be no broken hearts?
Why can’t people talk to each other than to God when in trouble?
Why can’t spam mails be stopped?
Why can’t one keep in touch without internet?
Why can’t Sonali Bendra be the face of every brand?
Why can’t India TV be the only news channel?
Why can’t some humans be not boring?
Why can’t office colleagues be friends?
Why can’t adults behave like children sumtimes?
Why can’t there be burping contests?
Why can’t women who wan2 live without a burqha actually live without it?
Why can’t one just use their teeth as nail-clippers?
Why can’t everyone not call them children with ‘special needs’?
Why can’t some people respect women?
Why can’t liquor in Gujjuland cost less?
Why can’t there be no ‘taboo’ on rituals/happenings?
Why can’t law be the same for all?
Why can’t everything written here be a metaphor?
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Why can’t sweet girls be not sooo sweet?

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marr I age

Why does every mother in the world makes her son feel like HE IS THE ONE or rather HE IS THE ONLY ONE. Not that I am complaining or anything, it actually feels ‘good’ feeling, to be frank. And I am sure all the moms are the same. Sweet….I must say!

I was actually in the middle of some work the other day and my mom comes in and tells me (or rather makes me realize) that I am about to complete a quarter of a century on this planet! Shocked, Surprised, Taken aback – some of the words to describe my situation at my mom’s sudden revelation (although known to me too) I ask her, “SO??”
I knew where this was going to go. She has practically never spoken about my ‘it’ (read: marriage) ever with me but today was a different day I guess!

Chapter 1: The Indian point of view
My mom had just spoken to her brothers & other family members and I knew brain washing had been done. Typical Indian stuff! I find all this so funny sometimes, am not against marrIage though, in any which ways, arranged OR otherwise, presuming there are only two ways to ‘it’. Tell me if there are more. So the discussion went ahead. I, as a nice son, gave a positive nod to the idea of marrIage , thinking the discussion was over for the time being. But my mom was there to prove me wrong. She was visibly happy with my response and at that very point grabbed the phone and started calling ‘selected’ family members asking them to find me a so-called suitable match!!!

I was visibly speechless and this is just the start of the dialogue.

Chapter 2: The Ladki dekhna – Ladka dekhna phenomenon
My mom’s ‘shaadi ke barey mein soch’ attitude, is encouraged, in a way cos’ of my friends. Most of them are married. The unmarried ones are getting conscious that they are not married (yet) so they’ve started the so called ‘ladki dekhna’ procedure. I sometimes this system is so weird. I know that the times are changing and all but still, this seems to be THE Indian way. Ladki dekho, paanch mint vaarta-laap karo and that’s it; its more of a business relationship than a marriage. Some (even I do) would argue that this may be the traditional way but it still is very much prevalent. Its hypocrisy all the way. I’ve seen cases where in parents are love-married but their children have to go thru the ladki dekho – ladka dekho procedure. Hypocrisy at its peak. Even though their children have chosen someone on their own but just cos he/she is from some other caste n crap, things don’t go down well with the parents. And hence ladki dekhna – ladka dekhna procedure, in most cases, whether one likes it or not.

Chapter 3: Choice marriage
As one of my friend points out, “it should not be called arranged marriage; it should be called CHOICE marriage.” Believe you me, just cos he is a guy, based in an orthodox (ya I know, not many would agree) India can he pass such a strong statement. And this again is his point of view. What he means is just an extension of Chapter 2. I actually went ahead and asked some of my other friends (male, female, married & committed, married & not committed, single & unmarried, committed to one, committed to many, single for life and others) on what do they think of ‘marriage’. Guys’ve more choice than girls, all agreed on this point. However affluent, broad-minded family you come from, this was a fact that could not be ignored. Choice marriage was a very raw and a demeaning phrase, the womankind said. I tend to agree with them here. And at the same time, some guys seemed to love it and in today’s context even the girls loved it.

Chapter 4: Friends’ diary
SHE is 25, sexy, earning good enough to sustain her so called lavish lifestyle in one of the cosmopolitan cities of India and is into her third relationship. She is short-tempered, has a factory of tears inside her, is very possessive (still ironically broad-minded), doesn’t like her (so called) boy friend talking to some objectionable (in her book) girls. She is someone who lives her own life, in her own way barring a few times when I think her guy influences and I am sure it is the other way round too. She doesn’t want to marry for years to come but still wants her relationship to continue! And yes, she calls herself ‘commitment-phobic’….but I know she is not.
Her views on marriage: “Waste of time!”

HE is 26, single, into his family business, afraid of society (in a sense that he doesn’t even smoke a cigarette in a radius of 3kms of his home!), more than his parents he is afraid of his parents’ friends seeing him smoking. Before he joined his dad’s business, he served an organization for 2 years in one of India’s metro cities. He has had his share of temporary relationships, one night stands (read: too many). But But But, now he is back home with his family and he is a changed man completely (except smoking). He does not look at any girl, eye to eye.
His views on marriage: “I can/will only marry a girl my family chooses. It won’t matter if my family chooses business gain as a bridge for my marriage. The ‘Indian society system’ scares me the most and that’s why I choose to be this way. I am not complaining though as I know my family will choose the best for me.”

SHE is 25, beautiful, single, earns well, lives in one of the BPO/KPO cities of India. She was in India, went abroad, got into a serious relationship and eventually was officially engaged. The next thing I hear is that the engagement is broken n so was she. So heartbroken was she that she left everything and came back to India, just bcos that country made her feel worse. I can imagine. I haven’t been to Delhi since last one year! Now she is back, has a good job but the pain is not gone. She hates to be in a relationship now. Cries at any hour of the day. Sadness has creeped inside her.
Her view on marriage: “Its just to fulfill ones physical needs. I actually see no reason why one should marry. I’ve seen couples only fighting all the times, in my own family (sadly) or otherwise. I, myself will have to be thoroughly convinced to marry anyone, now that I have gone thru the worst.”

HE is 25, was always single (till now that is) This guy never got into any relationship, not that he couldn’t, just that he chose not to. Not bcos his family would have opposed, just that he chose not to. Not that he is gay, just that he chose not to. Not that he never socializes, just that he chose not to. He is any parents’ delight. Whatever dad says, I’ll do that only. So when his parents chose a girl for him, he instantly fell in love with her! It’s already been 5 months to his courtship and in another 3 months time he’ll be married. I wish it was this easy!
His views on marriage: “Although I am not married yet, (and I can’t even tell you how excited I am) in my opinion, marriage is something everyone should go thru. Its already so beautiful, he says, even before I am married, imagine after the marriage. Maybe that is cos this is my first ever encounter with a female on ‘that’ level. But whatever it is, I am madly in love”.

HE is 28, single (was in a relationship though, long back), has a business of his own. Well qualified n stuff. As far as my sources could tell, this guy has gone thru the ‘ladki-dekhna’ process atleast 8 times. But here is where the difference lies. He was the one not chosen in all cases except one, where he disagreed for. So, its not always that the guy has choice all the time. Is he frustrated? YES. Is he angry? YES. Is he upset (with the womankind)? YES. And I guess all the YESs are only bcos of what he has gone thru.
His view on marriage: “Its only bcos of my parents that I am not killing all the girls of this world, I simply wish I could”.

SHE is 26, chirpy, beautiful. I was the common link between these two; this girl and her ex-guy. Their relationship lasted for 4 healthy years. In the end, things dint ‘work out’ and so came the end of it all. She was broken. He was broken. She used to tell me her side of pain and he used to hide his side of pain. After a year of their break-up (I so hate this word) she got engaged and eventually married to a guy of her parents’ choice. Though, I always thought that she is never going to commit herself to anyone now, looking at her state of affairs. Am glad she proved me wrong.
Her views on marriage: “Rocking and peaceful at the same time. It all depends on the RIGHT kind of person you choose. In a ways its good that one gets to use the power of choice or the power of parents’ choice in the case of an (arranged) life partner. I am thankful that my parents chose my husband as the guy for me. We are happy and our 4 month old kid is a living proof.”

..and finally..here's wishing my ex (i hate dis word..its so demeaning) pots of luck. She just got engaged last week. She deserves d best (she had me for 6 yrs;) and I hope she has d best..!